Thursday, February 28, 2008

You'd think between the kiwis, cucumbers and cantaloupes, SOMEBODY would be getting turned on!

JD's quotes:

Okay, since Lucy is now outworking me, I'm opening up a new subject to post on. See, there are many colorful physicians out there who go on talk shows, write newsletters, books and articles on websites. They say funny things. Sometimes their eccentricities are pretty darned palpable. One of the doctors that comes to mind is William Campbell Douglass, M.D. who is a funny guy. He authors The Douglass Report. In the Douglass Report, he takes his stands on health by praising a three-egg breakfast complete with bacon and strong coffee with heavy cream, contrary to what you'd typically hear from a medical doctor. Doctor Douglass also is the arch nemesis of the soy bean (doctors hating on soy isn't really that uncommon).

Doctor Douglass is also strongly anti-vegetarian and rarely misses an opportunity to mock them when he comes across a good chance. This is hilarious, trust me. So, a while back, Doctor Douglass, who is in his 80's and probably a bit more ill-tempered for it, comes across this headline in the news. The headline is ''Vegans shun sex with meat-eaters''. When he started to write about this, I knew he was going to go monkey-barrels on all the veggie-heads and fruitarians in the way only he can. He was so insulted by this that he was lead to the following comments (likely stemming from a combined love of bacon, hatred of vegetarianism and the beautifully self-righteous attitude of a medical doctor):

''I think all that processed soybean junk food has gone to their heads - and their sex organs, too.''

''The research is in, and it's alarming: Veganism from birth causes mal development of sex organs in males.''

''Next thing you know, vegans will be cutting out sex altogether, which, come to think of it, wouldn't be much of a stretch.''

''It's not so much that vegans don't want to have sex with meat-eaters - it's that they can't handle being partnered up with someone who actually has a sex drive.''

''The average vegan doesn't "get it on" nearly as much as we hearty meat-eaters.
Just stick to a diet loaded with plenty of red meat, eggs, and a few veggies thrown in for variety, and you're bound to get everything you need to be raring-to-go at the drop of a hat. And I've got plenty of personal experience to vouch for it…''

Whoa Nelly! Doc, please. I do NOT want to know about your sex life. Yikes. Okay, let's just all recover from that for a second. In closing, God Bless crotchety old doctors, they are funny.

Say what? has nothing against vegans, fruitarians, Doctor Douglass or eggs but does take a strong stand against soy and the flaunting of sexual energy by senior citizens of any background be it meat-eating or otherwise. Please,... keep it to yourselves, you old horn dogs.