The mother of all Mother's Day quotes

Lucy's quote:



~Tina Fey with 30 Rock co-star Tracy Morgan



Ninjitsu master Tina Fey does it for me again-a nausea inducing belly laugh on my favorite piece of weekend TV-SNL's Weekend Update. Catch Tina Fey and former Weekend Update cohort Amy Poehler on their new movie Baby Mama. Allow me to quote JD here. JD told me the stars of the movie make it ''the only way I'd ever watch a chick flick about reproductive hijinks''. That's a direct quote. I however will always watch a chick flick reproductive hijinks film. I can't get enough of them. The fact that Amy and Tina are the stars is just gravy. Read about Baby Mama here: Baby Mama Synopsis - Moviefone

* Fun fact: When I was nine, I embarked on a misguided attempt to get pregnant by pretending my pillow was David Cassidy. It's a long story and it didn't work but this personal historical detail may allow you to fully appreciate why I like movies about so-called reproductive hijinks.

Tina Fey on SNL's Weekend Update as Queen anchorperson:

''The FDA this week approved the first ever transdermal patch for the treatment of depression. Simply remove the backing and press the patch firmly over your mother's mouth.''



Take that mothers! I'm kidding mom...really.




Today's post is brought to you by:

The Chromium-Diabetes connection: Do you know about GTF?

Oh, no, hoeno, not again! (More Saturday Night Live quotes from Weekend Update)

~ Seth Meyers of SNL
Lucy's quotes:

Yes again, my friend, again. If not now, then when? Have I been reading Dr. Seuss books? No, I just get giddy when I do an SNL post, that's all. Especially when it's about (Sound the trumpets) my favorite segment, Weekend Update. I've restrained myself for long enough. I just can't stay away from the WU. So, here are some of the last lines that got a belly laugh from me. Keep in mind, each belly laugh is worth 6 points to the anchor reading it, so Jimmy Fallon is still up by several points. Sorry, it's the way we do it. Here they are:

1. Current Anchor Seth Meyers:

Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek are denying rumors that they have become lovers. Apparently the rumor got started when I imagined it.

2. Also from Seth Meyers:

Many BlackBerry users are now reporting feeling vibrations when they are not holding their devices. In an effort to combat these phantom sensations, makers of the BlackBerry suggest you stop doing cocaine.

3. Former Anchor and most recently host Tina Fey:

Police in Illinois are looking for a 75-year-old woman who gets around with a cane and a portable oxygen cart. Because she's accused of scamming car dealers by bouncing checks. Officials say that by now, the old lady could be anywhere within an eight foot radius.

4. Also from Tina Fey:

Ingvar Kamprad, the Swedish man who founded IKEA has overtaken Bill Gates as the World's richest man, with a fortune of $53 billion dollars. He plans to use the money to ''finally buy some nice furniture.''

5. And finally, from my favorite former anchor, Jimmy Fallon:

For the first time, the annual event ''Gay Day'' in which homosexuals gather at Disneyland, was held at Euro Disney in Paris. It was the largest gathering of gay men in Paris since the day before.

~ Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon on SNL's Weekend Update

I just did NOT see that one coming (The devastating Tina Fey quote)

Lucy's quote:

Tina Fey delivered some of the most brutal lines of SNL's Weekend Update and did it with the kind of skillful sarcasm you have to learn in a Ninjitsu class. In some special Ninja cults, they actually worship Tina Fey, true story. Anyway, here she is with some important health information from WU:

Master Tina: ''In Women's Health News, the FDA announced that it has approved ''NuvaRing'', a new highly effective birth control device for women. NuvaRing is 2 inches long and releases a continuous low dose of estrogen. Just like Michael Jackson's penis.''



VS...No doubt Tina would put the smack down on Michael, is there?...I mean, come on.

Hear us roar or howl?: Republican chauvinism made funny by 30 Rock

Lucy's quotes:

Today's post should be like a bullet- Fast and deadly. The quote in question?

Alec Baldwin as eccentric right-wing Reagan enthusiast Jack Donaghy on the Tina Fey creation 30 Rock:

''I like when a woman has ambition. It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes.''

Tina Fey was quoted in the New York Post as saying:

"I may be the only 'SNL' alumnus who has created a character based on Lorne who's not lying about it,"

Of course, she's referring to Lorne Michaels and his similarities to Mike Myers' Dr. Evil character in the Austin Powers flicks among others. I don't know if Lorne is specifically the inspiration for Tina's astute riffs regarding the republican party mind-set but if he is, I'm shocked. How could my beloved SNL be run by that kind of a c-c-c-c-conservative?

FOR 30 Rock fans only: I wonder if Lorne Michaels has a creepy cookie jar collection too!



Not familiar with 30 Rock? Here's a good intro to the premise: