Sunday, January 6, 2008

Charley Pride: He's even got the same number of bones in his heel as Faron Young!

JD's quotes:

PRIDE: The Charley Pride Story with Jim Henderson is another great look at a music legend behind the scenes from his own perspective. Charley takes us into his world and tries to explain his thinking as each story of his life unfolds. Charley is most compelling perhaps when he speaks of the misfit aspect of himself. Not just as a black man singing music primarily sung by whites but as a genuine free thinker. Although the book touches on such things as Charley's bouts with manic depression and bitter racial prejudice, it's certainly not without humor.

Ironically, some of the humor comes from the fairly benign breed of racial tension in his life. Charley brings us with him from his days of baseball playing to his dealings with mentally disturbed fans and we thank him for the opportunity to see it all through his eyes. Enjoy these quotes from the book and see if you can get a copy for all the great stories that go with them.





Charley describes his youth:

''People thought I was a little strange anyway, and talking about walking on clouds didn't help my image any.''

''I didn't learn where babies came from until I was eleven.''

''I believed what I was told and so I always believed babies came in those little bags that the midwives carried.''

''Daddy always said I was the most aggravating of his children. I've never denied that I was mischievous.''

''Ours was not a tall barn and getting on the roof was no trouble. Getting down was. I perched on the edge for a moment and imagined myself gliding softly to earth. Not considering the alternative, I popped the umbrella open and jumped.''

''Daddy was in town after school that day and bumped into the principal. ''We had to give Charley a bustin' today,'' the principal told him. Daddy snorted and said, ''Yeah, well, who hasn't?'' ''


Charley on singing for his baseball team to pass the time:

''The team was not in unanimous agreement about my talent. ''Knock off that noise,'' was a fairly common comment.''

Charley's first plane ride:

''The stewardess could tell I was scared. She walked up and said, ''Would you like a pillow?'' What she was really saying was, Would you like for me to keep you from sh*tting your pants? ''Yes. . . yes I would,'' I said.


An obligatory countryism:

''For a few days I was as restless as a bird dog in a duck blind.''

Charley's contradictions:

''We had talked a couple of times and played against each other in an exhibition game, but we were not exactly buddies. ''That's my buddy,'' I said, pointing to Sammy's name.''

''I don't believe I want to sign anything,'' I said.
''Well, sir,'' he said, moving back and putting a hand on his gun, ''I'd like you to step out of the car.''
''I believe I'll sign it,'' I said.''


The great exercise of name dropping must occur in celeb autobiographies as we all know and love. Charley takes us through the interesting reactions to his arrival on the country music scene from Tex Ritter, Webb Pierce, Waylon Jennings, Mel Tillis, Red Foley, Red Sovine, Redd Foxx and probably people with other colors in their name as well:


''Years later, when Loretta was picked to present me with a country music award, she got letters and phone calls warning her that she had better not hug me during the presentation. She not only hugged me, she kissed me.'' ~Speaking of Loretta Lynn


''As I walked toward him, everyone looked around nervously, maybe thinking there was going to be trouble. When I got to where Willie was standing, he grabbed me and kissed me with the whole crowd looking on. That broke everybody up.'' ~Speaking of Willie Nelson before either was very famous.

''I barely remember lying across one of the beds and conking out. When I woke up, George was right beside me.'' ~Speaking of George Jones after ''trying to match George drink for drink'' the night before.

''Without much forethought, I said exactly what I was thinking. ''I watch your show all the time,'' I told him. ''You look older in person.''
He was not flattered.'' ~Talking to Ralph Edwards-host of 'This is your life'

''I had plenty of training for my encounter with Mr. Young.'' ~Speaking of the legendary Faron Young.


Pride goes on to talk about their first encounter:


''...I guess he expected me to throw a punch or something.
''Aw, I was waiting for something worse than that,'' I said.
''You were?''
''Yeah. Guess what I was going to say if you had said something really bad.''
''What?''
''I was going to say, 'You little pucker-mouth banty rooster son of a peckerwood!' ''
He blinked. ''You were going to say that to me?''
''Just like that.''
''I'll be damned.''

Faron would become one of Charley's biggest supporters although he wasn't afraid to ask Charley about the tough racial issues of life at that time:


'' ''Charley,'' he said once, ''I've told you that I grew up in Shreveport. Well, I haven't had a chance to talk to many of y'all. Since we got a chance, there's something I been wanting to ask you. Is it that extra bone in your heel that makes y'all outjump us?''



''What . . . ?''
''That extra bone . . .''
''What extra bone?''
Happy to dispel another racial myth, I told him it was my understanding that he and I had the same number of bones and if we jumped higher than you, it may be because we worked harder at it.
He just may have been putting me on with that question. Faron was like that.''


Onnnnn that note, check out some of Charley's video clips:



I don't normally put up this kind of video but you have to admire the kid's taste in music:











Charley Live -Crystal Chandeliers









Charley Live with Johnny Cash doing a Hank Williams Medley:





Saturday, January 5, 2008

George Carlin jokes about cancer, canine expiration and Elmer Fudd getting the shaft again



JD's quotes:


George Carlin put on his usual intelligent, thought provoking and funny show when he did Doin' it again for HBO-one of many specials he's done for the network. Here are the quotes I can actually get away with quoting:


George Carlin quotes: HBO Special Doin' it again

One from George's list of life's embarrassing moments:


''You ever been talking to someone and you laugh through your nose and blow a snot on your shirt?''

George on public health:

''Cuz I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water.''

George on ''sensitive'' subjects:

''Well, I know, some people don't like you to talk about those things. I know that. Some people don't like you to mention certain things. Some people don't want you to say this,... some people don't want you to say that... Some people think if you mention some things, they might happen...Some people are REALLY F#*^ing stupid!''

While joking about just the kind of sensitive subjects that comedians aren't supposed to joke about, George proceeds to ask the audience to:

''Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.''




One from George's list of things you never see:

''You never see a really big, tall, fat, Chinese guy with red hair.''

George only agrees with some feminist vocabulary changes:

''They want me to call that thing in the street, a personhole cover. I think that's taking it a little bit too far. What would you call a ladies' man? A person's person? That would make a He-man an It-person. Little kids would be afraid of the boogeyperson. They'd look up in the sky and see the person in the moon. Guys would say ''Come back here and fight like a person'' and we'd all sing ''For it's a jolly good person''. That's the kind of thing you would hear on Late Night with David Letterperson! You know what I mean?''

Near the end of the show George begins his admirable rant about New Wave, sugarcoated language. Among his gripes are the changes from ''partly cloudy'' to ''partly sunny'' but one, he points out, will actually make him invincible:

''Because thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won't have to die...I'll
pass away...''


Check out one of George's Wordsmith exhibitions on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

Embed code disabled: Please follow this link for the video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=02IVWSHdp6A


Friday, January 4, 2008

Between that and those photos on Entertainment Tonight...



JD's quote:

I can't help it, I just heard this one again recently and I had to give Larry Merchant another spot on ''Say what?''. I warn you, this likely won't be the last time either. Here's another beauty from the great sage Larry Merchant. The setting is shortly after the referee stopped the first fight between Julio Caesar Chavez and Oscar De La Hoya. Chavez was losing thoroughly and a cut had suspiciously appeared very early above his left eye. George Foreman hinted that Chavez suffered the cut in training and covered it up to make it to the ring. The cut looked terrible, refused to stop bleeding and the fight was called. Jim Lampley and George Foreman were praising De La Hoya cautiously when old Larry decided to chime in with this unlikely but typically colorful comparison:

''This kid is like a debutante with a knife in her purse.''

Larry, man are we ever gonna miss you when you retire.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Is it a gerbil or just a tickle? (Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes from season six)




JD's quotes:

You may have missed Larry David playing Larry David in the sixth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm for several reasons. Maybe you canceled your subscription to HBO because they keep starting series without finishing them, for instance. Maybe you've been spending too much time looking at blogs and it distracted you [that's perfectly acceptable by the way]. Maybe you've developed a prejudice against bald lead actors [Unacceptable]. Who knows? Either way, you've missed more appearances by Ted Danson and Richard Lewis, as well as new celebrity faces like Michael McKean, Vivica A. Fox, Lucy Lawless, Tim Meadows, Tia Carrere, John McEnroe and more. Here are a few Larry quotes that may paint a picture of what you were missing this past season:


''Just look at this schmohawk over here.''

''Okay,...I have a gerbil up my ass. That's my problem.''

''However, in the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that um-I do have a tickle in my anus.''

''The penis needs an option...just like everybody else. The penis is human, needs an option.''

''Would you say my balls are unusually long?''

''I guess I just like sick sex.''

''So-so let me- so your last-your last name is Black. Th-th-that's like if my last name was-was Jew, like Larry Jew...cuz I'm Jewish.''

''I take back my toast.''

''Um-I'm so sorry...First of all, you have to understand something, okay? My friend Jeff DID NOT KNOW-DID NOT KNOW-that there was a penis in that box when he picked that up from the bakery.''

''You know what? We love each other...me and my bald brothers.''

PS: JB Smooth was the star of this season as far as I'm concerned. Playing Leon, he and Larry traded excellent life advice to each other. Excellent for us anyway. Not so much for them.

Check out a promo for season six:





Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Lesbian fun endorsed by America's #1 bow-tie wearin' journalist!



JD & Lucy's quotes:



Known from shows on PBS, CNN and MSNBC journalist Tucker Carlson matches the bow-tie look and republican attitude with a wide variety of statements that stick in people's head for better or worse. Here we quote him revisiting a ''controversial'' statement he made once upon a time while stopping by Late Night with Conan O'Brien:

''And so I said I thought, you know, one liberal addition to sex was, you know, recreational female bisexuality. I thought that was a good thing. It's something that liberals gave us and I can get behind and support really strongly.''

Ohhhhh yeah, conservatives swing too baby; this much is clear.



Here's Tucker just completely rocking out like a conservative hippy but without the bow-tie: