I just did NOT see that one coming (The devastating Tina Fey quote)

Lucy's quote:

Tina Fey delivered some of the most brutal lines of SNL's Weekend Update and did it with the kind of skillful sarcasm you have to learn in a Ninjitsu class. In some special Ninja cults, they actually worship Tina Fey, true story. Anyway, here she is with some important health information from WU:

Master Tina: ''In Women's Health News, the FDA announced that it has approved ''NuvaRing'', a new highly effective birth control device for women. NuvaRing is 2 inches long and releases a continuous low dose of estrogen. Just like Michael Jackson's penis.''



VS...No doubt Tina would put the smack down on Michael, is there?...I mean, come on.

How dare you imply the British aren't the horndogs we all know they are!

~I dare you to find a Mel Brooks movie that doesn't involve any cleavage...I outright dare you.



JD'S quotes:

Let's take a look back at the Mel Brooks parody of Bram Stoker's Dracula called Dracula: Dead and loving it. Here are some of the bits that stayed with me:


1.
Mark Blankfield as Martin: Oh, McManus, the patient in the west wing?
Harvey Korman as Dr. Seward: Yes.
Martin: He's having a conniption fit
Dr. Seward: Oh, give 'em an enema
Martin: ...An enema?
Dr. Seward: Yes. It'll give him a feeling of accomplishment

2. Dr. Seward: Oh, Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He is a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
Mel Brooks as Professor Van Helsing: And Gynecology
Dr. Seward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that too.


3. Steven Weber as Jonathan Harker: Are you saying that Count Dracula is our vampire?
Van Helsing: Yes...and no.
Harker: Then what are you saying?
Van Helsing: I'm saying no,...but I'm leeeaning towards yes.
Dr. Seward: Then you're saying yes.
Van Helsing: No.
Dr. Seward: Then it's no.
Van Helsing: Not necessarily.
Harker: You sound dubious.
Van Helsing: No, I'm positive.
Harker: Of what?
Van Helsing: My theory!
Harker: And that would be?
Van Helsing: The theory of yes...or no.



4. Lysette Anthony as Lucy: Jonathan, let me kiss you. Let me show you the deep, raw, passionate, unbridled, sexual frenzy.
Jonathan Harker: Eh-eh, but Lucy,... I'm British.



Check out arguably the most classic scene in the movie with Harvey Korman and Peter MacNicol (playing Renfield):

Get this guy mad and he'll seriously F**k up your feng shui T!

JD's quotes:

Known to fans as being one of the funniest episodes of The Sopranos, Pine Barrens, let's us see Paulie Walnuts and Christoper Moltisanti trying to survive in the wintry woods, attempting to conduct...um...waste management activities, so to speak. Wait, I don't have to say it that way...I mean they done tried to dump a body out there. As always, body dumping, a wonderful breeding ground for humor. We all know it.

Tony (played by James Gandolfini) to Paulie over the phone: The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando. He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed.

Paulie (played by Tony Sirico): Get the F**k outta here.

Tony: Yeah, nice, huh? He was with the interior ministry, guy's some kinda Russian Green Beret.

After they hang up:

Paulie to Christopher: You're not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator.

Christopher (played by Michael Imperioli): ...His house looked like sh!t.

...And you still have to ask why I love The Sopranos? Seriously?

We GOT a zoppity...They're not that great.

JD and Lucy's quotes:






6 Assorted quotes from The Office:

1. Steve Carell as Michael Scott:

''I hate hospitals. In my mind, they are associated with sickness.''

2. Craig Robinson as Darryl Philbin: Okay, bring it home now, and don't forget the new black man phrase I taught you.

Michael: Pippity Poppity, give me the zoppity.

Darryl: Yes sir. Remember that. I'll be right outside if you need me.

Michael: All right.

Darryl, after Michael walks away: Yeah, I taught Mike some new phrases. I want him to get the raise, I-I,...just can't help myself.




3. The legendary Creed Bratton as the equally legendary Creed Bratton (don't confuse the two):


''I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.''

4. The brilliant and blonde (They DO exist!) Angela Kinsey as the self-righteous prude Angela Martin:

''Cat heaven is a beautiful place. But you don't get there if you're euthanized.''




5. Rainn Wilson as that odd, odd man Dwight K. Schrute:



''I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle.''




6.

Dwight: No, don't call me a hero. Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs and get a distress call from the commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.

Michael Scott has certainly got... that Frisbee kind of cool

JD's quotes:




NBC's The Office rarely fails to put a smile on my face. After having watched Steve Carell on Jon Stewart's The Daily Show and of course his hilarious turns in movies like Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, I started watching The Office. It took me a few episodes to really get into the show because it runs so differently than your average primetime comedy. Now, however, my favorite moron on a currently running series is Steve's character Michael Scott. Michael is the sentimental ole fool who has somehow earned himself the title of Regional Manager of the Scranton, PA branch of the Dunder Mifflin paper company. Michael wants to be liked, and in spite of his behavior, often is. He also is of the opinion that he is both cool and smart but rarely convinces anyone else of this theory. His idea of being witty is to wait for the right moment to add ''that's what she said'' to a conversation...if not the right time, then whenever he thinks of it. Here are some of Michael's recent scene-stealingly stupid moments:


1. ''I'm not superstitious but I'm-I am a little stitious.''

2. ''Hey, Frisbee. Check that out. What do you say we get our frizz on before class, huh?''

3. ''You cannot learn from books...Replace these pages with life lessons, and then, you will have a book...that is worth its weight in gold.''

4. ''It was a crime of passion Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.''

5. ''I'm very fast. I'm like Forrest Gump. Except, I am not an idiot.''

6. ''And, while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I am very, very proud of that.''

7. ''So, I don't think that this is totally just a woman's suit. At the very least, it's bisexual.''

8. ''Negotiations are all about controlling things, about being in the driver's seat. Annnd, you make one tiny mistake, you're dead. I made one tiny mistake. I wore a woman's clothes.''


9. ''Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive NEED to be liked. Like, my need to be praised.''

10. ''So, Ryan got promoted to corporate, where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in Scranton, I am still top dog...in a fairly large pond. So, who is the real boss?...The dog or a fish?''

11. Michael: So, I need a little treat for the gang, something to win their affection back.
B. J. Novak as Ryan Howard: Back? Why is that Michael?
Michael: Welll, I ran down Meredith in my car.
Ryan: Ughuhhh! Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent but she's in the hospital. She's fine, recovering nicely, tiny little crack in her pelvis but she will be up and-
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes it was on company property with company property. So, double jeopardy, we are fine.
Ryan: Mm-I don't-I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right. I'm sorry. What is ''we're fine''?

At the moment, I think getting one's frizz on has got to be my favorite phrase to be used on The Office to date. Can you blame me?