Oh Snap! That's...that's harsh. (A merciless Benny quote from The George Lopez Show)

Lucy's quotes:

Sadly, the George Lopez show isn't on the air for another season but they had a lot of great exchanges we can remember them by, especially with Belita Moreno as George's mom Benny. Here's one of many from when George's estranged father passes away (Death, a perfect breeding ground for comedy, you know it) :


Mr. Carrillo (played by Daniel Edward Mora): Hey, George, I heard about your dad. I'm very sorry.

George: Thanks

Mr. Carrillo: When's the service?

Angie (played by Constance Marie): It's Saturday, in Arizona. We're leaving tomorow.

Benny: Well, I'm not going...I was married to the guy. I saw enough of him laying down and not moving.


Check out a gratuitous youtube video clip of George on Jimmy Kimmel Live for no reason:

This just in: Experts say, that if you're feeling froggy, DON'T JUMP!

Lucy's quotes:

Which one is which?


Will Ferrell was only one of the SNL players to do a George W. Bush impression. In case you're one of the readers who don't know George, he is the current president of Texas. Will may not have been known for the art of straight impressions but he did master the ''W'' vibe. You know the one, the ''I'm much smarter in real life than on camera'' thing. ''Hey America, the camera adds ten pounds and takes away 30 IQ points.'' SNL's political humor has benefited so much from ''W''. SNL will miss George like JD will miss Larry Merchant.

Will Ferrell as George W. Bush:

''And, don't forget France. The French don't like me sayin' ''Axis of Evil''. So, guess what? They are now part of the very same Axis of Evil, that they don't like me sayin'. How do ya like them apples France? Next time, you keep your mouth shut. You mess with Texas and it's straight to the Axis of Evil. Got it?''

That's right France, watch your ass. We will absolutely bomb you. We roll like that. As a matter of fact, the CIA is well aware of your attack on America. We've got files on your military operation ''Le Katrina''. You're goin' down! You hate us for our Freedom! Or, we'll attack Sweden, there's probably some French people there. Europeans are all connected...

It is the worst of men's fashion

JD'S quotes:

Still Standing, a sitcom starring Mark Addy and Jami Gertz as Bill and Judy Miller, was honored by comic legend Rodney Dangerfield when he briefly appeared as their neighbor, Ed Bailey. Here's a piece of their brief encounter on the show that puts an image in my head I find unable to remove but still pretty dadblame funny:


Mark Addy as Bill: You know, you haven't been such a great neighbor yourself. You remember that time I came over to be sociable and you threw me out?

Rodney Dangerfield as neighbor Ed Bailey: Hey, I caught you naked in my hot tub.

Bill: Hey, hey, I wasn't naked. I was wearin' a Speedo that kept ridin' up on me.

Bob Saget plays a 13-year-old boy with Tourette syndrome having a nervous breakdown...I smell an Oscar

JD's quotes:

In Bob Saget's HBO comedy special That ain't right Bob rambles for nearly an hour about John Stamos, leprechauns, a poor kid in the audience named Jared and his potential romance with Kimmy Gibbler. He does this only after entering to Jamie Kennedy and Stu Stone's rap song Rollin' with Saget...which is a great song if you've never heard it. When not rambling, he's singing. I cannot for the life of me, after having sat through this show twice, arrive at a decision as to whether he is not-that-funny or actually brilliant...and perhaps therein lies his genius. I may end up watching it a third time just to figure it out. I may never figure it out! When Bob starts singing, he goes into his own song, set to the melody of the Backstreet Boys number I want it that way, another song that gets close to bestiality but not quite? and one he introduces as ''An old English folk song'' that I thought was perfectly quote-worthy. Here are the entire song's lyrics as sung by Saget:


''There was an old farmer who sat on a rock

Stroking his whiskers and shaking his fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks

Teaching their children to play with their kite-strings and marbles in the old days of yore

Along came a lady who looked like a decent young lady and walked like a duck


Said she'd discovered a new way to bring up the children to sew and to knit


The boys in the stables were shoveling up contents of stables left after the hunt


The carman was feeling a nice piece of straw from the stables cleaning the walls


In came the dairymaid to play with his dog in the dairy where she did belong


If you think this is dirty well, you're F**kin' well wrong''



Saget fully admits that he didn't write this song but I'm glad he covered it. I like his version but there are many, many different versions. The one I learned and sing when I'm in the shower or drunk goes like this:



Thhhhhhhhhere was an old farmer who sat on his rick


Ranting and raving and waving his arms to the people who sat on the walls


Teaching their children to play with their kite-strings and bowstrings like in the old days of yore


When along came a lady who liked like a decent young lady who walked like a duck


Said she'd invented a new way to educate children to sew and to knit


While the servants in the barnyard were shoveling refuse from the barnyard from the back to the front


As the young maids in the tavern plucked hairs from their aprons and blouses just for their health


And if you want different lyrics, you can sing them yourselllllllf!!!


Hey, I like both ways but I'll still sing my version because I think the hair plucking part is the best. ...You tell me which one is better. Also, if you have a good site with any version of this song that you'd like to share or on its history, please comment and put it up. I love it, I'm pretty sure it's a public domain song. Also, though I might be wrong, I think it's called ''A clean English folk song.'' Anybody know?

Mel Brooks always co-stars with sibling midgets

~Once again, we dare you to find a Mel Brooks movie where cleavage isn't in one of the starring roles. We double-butted dog dare you and the horse you rode in on to find one Mel Brooks movie-no wait...If there is one, then I don't want to know about it...I happen to like the norm on this one. Hey, when's he coming out with another movie? (By the way, that's Mel in the middle with Harvey Korman on the left and ...three people I don't know on the right.)


JD's quotes:

Today's quote is from the film accredited with having the first ever flatulence scene in the history of movies and good for them doggone it! The movie was Blazing Saddles and starred Gene Wilder, Cleavon Little, Harvey Korman, Mel Brooks and a few others. Here's a quote from Mel and Harvey in the very scene pictured above:

Harvey Korman as Attorney General Hedley Lamarr(Not to be confused with Hedy Lamarr, ha ha ha): Just one more bill for you to sign sir.
Mel Brooks as Governor William J. Le Petomane: What the hell is this?
Lamarr: This is the bill that will convert the state hospital for the insane into the ''William J. Le Petomane Memorial Gambling Casino for the Insane.''
Governor Le Petomane: Gentleman, this bill will be a giant step forward in the treatment, of the insane gambler.

Talk about an accurately portrayed government. I want to share another thing with you. Well,...Brooks named his character after a somewhat famous person...check out that famous person's history here: Le Pétomane - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia~Enjoy that.