Is Skeletor Really A Saint?

Lucy's quotes:







We don't usually quote a website but...I really had to this time. I stumbled upon a small faction of people who celebrate St. Skeletor's Day...If you've never heard of the holiday of which I speak, here's a quote from the #1 St. Skeletor's Day site:


''St Skeletor's Day is a non-commercial alternative to the corporate whorefest that is St Valentine's Day.''

St Skeletor's Day ~ Click here to find the source of this anticorporate whorefest message.


Lucy's special note: Not all people have a problem with whorefests per say. I for instance, have nothing personal against them. Whores are cool, fests are nifty...put 'em both together and whoohoo! Corporate whorefests on the other hand are just not very festive by and large. I know, I've been to a few. The punch is awful, the music is usually ABBA, Rush and Styx...Maybe you should consider celebrating St. Skeletor's Day this year but if you like to take a reformist approach and change St. Valentine's day from within the system, you might start by making the corporate whorefest more festive and getting creative...
...

... so, anyways... we got videos for ya!


For anyone who grew up on these cartoons, here's two hilarious Skeletor videos-the dialogue, it should be obvious, is fake but I have to give props to the anti-Thundercats campaign:

Friendly Advice From The Man In Black On Prison Safety circa 1969

JD's quotes:

The famous Johnny Cash concerts done behind the walls of the Folsom and San Quentin prison are now legendary. The other night I caught the documentary on it which cut from prisoners sharing their own stories to Johnny talking and singing on stage. At the beginning of the documentary Johnny is singing ''I walk the line'' and starts to snicker as he stares off into the audience. One of the cameramen was doing something Big John needed to comment on. While laughing, he offered the following advice:

''You better not bend over there with that camera like that...Man, you in the wrong place to bend over; don't you know it? ...Get up from there with that camera!''

The man in black was always full of wise words but those were easily some of the wisest.



At the bottom are three Johnny Cash videos. They are:

Johnny Cash Live in San Quentin singing ''A Boy Named Sue'' by the musical madman Shel Silverstein-You can purchase the concert on CD from:




Johnny Cash doing an impersonation of Elvis-er-some heretofore unnamed rock and roll singer rather-You can purchase the concert on DVD from:



Johnny Cash singing Jackson and Orange Blossom Special with the muppets and Miss Piggy-you'll have to save this web page if you want to watch it again, I don't know where you can purchase this: Enjoy!

Will Forte isn't exactly an X-rated Dr. Dolittle

Lucy's quote:


Polite and unassuming at first glance; at second glance a twisted, strange fellow. A comedic writer and actor from SNL, That 70's show and The Brothers Solomon; we address Mr. Will Forte. Will made a notorious appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien a while back. He raised two interesting subjects in particular. One of the subjects being a rumor about drummer Max Weinberg and his NBC shower room etiquette which caused uproarious laughter, confusion, awkward silence from Max and a look of horror on O'Brien's face, then nervous laughter and threat of a potential law suit from Weinberg. I won't say what Max was implicated in exactly but they mentioned Bigfoot sightings and a blow dryer. During the same notorious interview, Forte brought up a unique tourist attraction he'd visited while on vacation.

Again, I won't say exactly what the tourist attraction was but he brought a picture of himself at the establishment and these words were uttered by Forte while discussing it:



''I learned that if I ever even had the thought that I could please a female whale sexually, I was mistaken.''



...The whales of the world are glad you've been dissuaded from future attempts probably Will. Let's keep in mind, this is the same guy who sang a country song to his mother on Live television about how he'd miss her when she's dead. Strange boy.


Check out Will Forte and Kirsten Wiig's hilarious sketch pertaining to the writers' strike:

Charley Pride: He's even got the same number of bones in his heel as Faron Young!

JD's quotes:

PRIDE: The Charley Pride Story with Jim Henderson is another great look at a music legend behind the scenes from his own perspective. Charley takes us into his world and tries to explain his thinking as each story of his life unfolds. Charley is most compelling perhaps when he speaks of the misfit aspect of himself. Not just as a black man singing music primarily sung by whites but as a genuine free thinker. Although the book touches on such things as Charley's bouts with manic depression and bitter racial prejudice, it's certainly not without humor.

Ironically, some of the humor comes from the fairly benign breed of racial tension in his life. Charley brings us with him from his days of baseball playing to his dealings with mentally disturbed fans and we thank him for the opportunity to see it all through his eyes. Enjoy these quotes from the book and see if you can get a copy for all the great stories that go with them.





Charley describes his youth:

''People thought I was a little strange anyway, and talking about walking on clouds didn't help my image any.''

''I didn't learn where babies came from until I was eleven.''

''I believed what I was told and so I always believed babies came in those little bags that the midwives carried.''

''Daddy always said I was the most aggravating of his children. I've never denied that I was mischievous.''

''Ours was not a tall barn and getting on the roof was no trouble. Getting down was. I perched on the edge for a moment and imagined myself gliding softly to earth. Not considering the alternative, I popped the umbrella open and jumped.''

''Daddy was in town after school that day and bumped into the principal. ''We had to give Charley a bustin' today,'' the principal told him. Daddy snorted and said, ''Yeah, well, who hasn't?'' ''

Charley on singing for his baseball team to pass the time:

''The team was not in unanimous agreement about my talent. ''Knock off that noise,'' was a fairly common comment.''

Charley's first plane ride:

''The stewardess could tell I was scared. She walked up and said, ''Would you like a pillow?'' What she was really saying was, Would you like for me to keep you from sh*tting your pants? ''Yes. . . yes I would,'' I said.


An obligatory countryism:

''For a few days I was as restless as a bird dog in a duck blind.''

Charley's contradictions:

''We had talked a couple of times and played against each other in an exhibition game, but we were not exactly buddies. ''That's my buddy,'' I said, pointing to Sammy's name.''

''I don't believe I want to sign anything,'' I said.
''Well, sir,'' he said, moving back and putting a hand on his gun, ''I'd like you to step out of the car.''
''I believe I'll sign it,'' I said.''

The great exercise of name dropping must occur in celeb autobiographies as we all know and love. Charley takes us through the interesting reactions to his arrival on the country music scene from Tex Ritter, Webb Pierce, Waylon Jennings, Mel Tillis, Red Foley, Red Sovine, Redd Foxx and probably people with other colors in their name as well:

''Years later, when Loretta was picked to present me with a country music award, she got letters and phone calls warning her that she had better not hug me during the presentation. She not only hugged me, she kissed me.'' ~Speaking of Loretta Lynn


''As I walked toward him, everyone looked around nervously, maybe thinking there was going to be trouble. When I got to where Willie was standing, he grabbed me and kissed me with the whole crowd looking on. That broke everybody up.'' ~Speaking of Willie Nelson before either was very famous.

''I barely remember lying across one of the beds and conking out. When I woke up, George was right beside me.'' ~Speaking of George Jones after ''trying to match George drink for drink'' the night before.

''Without much forethought, I said exactly what I was thinking. ''I watch your show all the time,'' I told him. ''You look older in person.''
He was not flattered.'' ~Talking to Ralph Edwards-host of 'This is your life'

''I had plenty of training for my encounter with Mr. Young.'' ~Speaking of the legendary Faron Young.

Pride goes on to talk about their first encounter:

''...I guess he expected me to throw a punch or something.
''Aw, I was waiting for something worse than that,'' I said.
''You were?''
''Yeah. Guess what I was going to say if you had said something really bad.''
''What?''
''I was going to say, 'You little pucker-mouth banty rooster son of a peckerwood!' ''
He blinked. ''You were going to say that to me?''
''Just like that.''
''I'll be damned.''

Faron would become one of Charley's biggest supporters although he wasn't afraid to ask Charley about the tough racial issues of life at that time:

'' ''Charley,'' he said once, ''I've told you that I grew up in Shreveport. Well, I haven't had a chance to talk to many of y'all. Since we got a chance, there's something I been wanting to ask you. Is it that extra bone in your heel that makes y'all outjump us?''

''What . . . ?''
''That extra bone . . .''
''What extra bone?''
Happy to dispel another racial myth, I told him it was my understanding that he and I had the same number of bones and if we jumped higher than you, it may be because we worked harder at it.
He just may have been putting me on with that question. Faron was like that.''

Onnnnn that note, check out some of Charley's video clips:

I don't normally put up this kind of video but you have to admire the kid's taste in music:










Charley Live -Crystal Chandeliers








Charley Live with Johnny Cash doing a Hank Williams Medley:

George Carlin jokes about cancer, canine expiration and Elmer Fudd getting the shaft again

JD's quotes:

George Carlin put on his usual intelligent, thought provoking and funny show when he did Doin' it again for HBO-one of many specials he's done for the network. Here are the quotes I can actually get away with quoting:


George Carlin quotes: HBO Special Doin' it again

One from George's list of life's embarrassing moments:

''You ever been talking to someone and you laugh through your nose and blow a snot on your shirt?''

George on public health:

''Cuz I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water.''

George on ''sensitive'' subjects:

''Well, I know, some people don't like you to talk about those things. I know that. Some people don't like you to mention certain things. Some people don't want you to say this,... some people don't want you to say that... Some people think if you mention some things, they might happen...Some people are REALLY F#*^ing stupid!''

While joking about just the kind of sensitive subjects that comedians aren't supposed to joke about, George proceeds to ask the audience to:

''Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.''




One from George's list of things you never see:

''You never see a really big, tall, fat, Chinese guy with red hair.''

George only agrees with some feminist vocabulary changes:

''They want me to call that thing in the street, a personhole cover. I think that's taking it a little bit too far. What would you call a ladies' man? A person's person? That would make a He-man an It-person. Little kids would be afraid of the boogeyperson. They'd look up in the sky and see the person in the moon. Guys would say ''Come back here and fight like a person'' and we'd all sing ''For it's a jolly good person''. That's the kind of thing you would hear on Late Night with David Letterperson! You know what I mean?''

Near the end of the show George begins his admirable rant about New Wave, sugarcoated language. Among his gripes are the changes from ''partly cloudy'' to ''partly sunny'' but one, he points out, will actually make him invincible:

''Because thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won't have to die...I'll pass away...''


Check out one of George's Wordsmith exhibitions on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

Embed code disabled: Please follow this link for the video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=02IVWSHdp6A