And the first prize in the World's Sexiest Midget Rodeo category goes to...

~Now THIS is an animal gone wild, you jackass!

JD'S quotes:

Possibly the most unintentionally funny reality show on television might just be World's Most Amazing Videos. The narrator's jokes are terrible and consist almost completely of bad puns and the serious parts are the funniest...and also typically consist of bad puns. They constantly try to sound dramatic and add suspense even though chances are that the viewer is laughing hysterically at some of the dumbest human beings they've ever seen. I know I am. The following are things that were ACTUALLY said on this program during their special Animals Gone Wild edition (Remember to hear the deep stirring voice of the narrator in your mind, trying to sound as if he thinks he's got you on the edge of your seat wetting yourself from fear whenever you see monkey):

1. Sink your teeth into ''Animals Gone Wild''.


2. Plus, a startled steed becomes a bucking bronco...and crushes its rider under-hoof.


3. And later, a cheetah turns a TV host into a TV dinner.


4. But first, a zoo comes under siege, when an orangutan goes ape.


5. Plus, a crocodile trainer's trick, gives him a piercing headache.


This show is so great, it involves a bartender having to taser a rabid fox! That...that was like Christmas and my Birthday and St. Skeletor's Day all rolled into one. Immediately following is this quote:


6. She'll be okay,...but it'll be sometime before she can live down the night she was outfoxed by a fox.

Also great, a woman who works with BEARS for a living, decides to entertain THE BEARS with her ukulele! This leads them to build the suspense by saying:

7. Today, Maria tries entertaining the animals with some ukulele music, inside their enclosure...She won't be giving an encore... (Don't worry, she's not dead...well maybe brain dead but the bears weren't responsible for that.)

Then, showing footage of a rodent epidemic:

8. It will take weeks to get rid of this four-legged plague. Until then, residents are the ones caught in a mousetrap.

Got goose bumps yet? Wait, this next one might do it for you.

The best one of the night was when they spoke of an annual midget rodeo. Yes...MIDGET RODEO, I said! A lady midget matador (snicker, snicker) is knocked on her stomach by none other than...a midget bull, who engaged in a unique attack which the narrator actually calls... a ''BOVINE BOOTY-CALL'', following up with this comment:

9. But thankfully,...she was fighting a bull who wanted to make love...not gore.


THAT, ladies and gentleman, is just one single episode of World's Most Amazing Videos. Nice!

Yes, please do save Journeyman

~The main cast of NBC gem Journeyman

This isn't a regular post and something we've never done on Say what?. We'll keep it short and simple. A really wonderful show is being cancelled and it's called Journeyman. It's a great cast although the most recognizable actor is Kevin McKidd from HBO's epic drama Rome. Journeyman is the story of a journalist named Dan getting sucked into a time-traveling phenomenon. We won't go through the whole plotline but suffice it to say that there was an unfortunate dismissal by TV fans to assume it was basically the new Quantum Leap. If they didn't like Quantum Leap, there'd be no reason to give it a chance and if they did like it, they couldn't see watching a remake of it. So, Journeyman suffered unfairly from the start . We both gave it a chance and as far as we're concerned, Journeyman is easily one of the best series out there and never got the promotional attention that it deserved and certainly hasn't received the time it deserves to grow an audience and attract those that either dismissed it wrongly with the aforementioned assumptions or never heard of it. NBC has given us a show you can sink your teeth into and then snatched it away because it wasn't an immediate ratings smash.

We understand that you need good ratings to keep a show on but the idea that something must be an immediate top ranking show is quite unfair. Neither of us know anyone who has watched the show and not enjoyed it. It is not a Quantum Leap knock-off like some suspect-making the assumption without watching it. Journeyman is no more a copy of Quantum Leap because it shares the fantasy topic of time travel than Sex And The City is a copy of The Mary Tyler Moore Show because they both share the topic of single women living alone in the city. Aside from the idea of time travel, we find it bares no similarity at all. At any rate, we thought we would add to the support by giving some links to the Save Journeyman effort. We registered with Hey! Nielsen and rated the show and will put in for the Rice-a-Roni campaign too and we hope you fellow fans of the show will do the same if you haven't already. We'd have done this post sooner but we assumed the show was on hiatus do to the writers' strike until we saw the Save Journeyman campaign on Digg. Good luck to us all on ensuring quality TV by not letting this show slip through the cracks.

~Lucy and JD



To Help, Please Visit:

Save Journeyman! or http://savejourneyman.net/



Save Journeyman or http://save-journeyman.blogspot.com/


Journeyman Opinions, Ratings, News And Reviews at Hey! Nielsen or http://www.heynielsen.com/view/journeyman/

Petition to get a second season of Journeyman: Journeyman Second Season Petition Petition

or http://www.petitiononline.com/jmf/petition.html

I just did NOT see that one coming (The devastating Tina Fey quote)

Lucy's quote:

Tina Fey delivered some of the most brutal lines of SNL's Weekend Update and did it with the kind of skillful sarcasm you have to learn in a Ninjitsu class. In some special Ninja cults, they actually worship Tina Fey, true story. Anyway, here she is with some important health information from WU:

Master Tina: ''In Women's Health News, the FDA announced that it has approved ''NuvaRing'', a new highly effective birth control device for women. NuvaRing is 2 inches long and releases a continuous low dose of estrogen. Just like Michael Jackson's penis.''



VS...No doubt Tina would put the smack down on Michael, is there?...I mean, come on.

How dare you imply the British aren't the horndogs we all know they are!

~I dare you to find a Mel Brooks movie that doesn't involve any cleavage...I outright dare you.



JD'S quotes:

Let's take a look back at the Mel Brooks parody of Bram Stoker's Dracula called Dracula: Dead and loving it. Here are some of the bits that stayed with me:


1.
Mark Blankfield as Martin: Oh, McManus, the patient in the west wing?
Harvey Korman as Dr. Seward: Yes.
Martin: He's having a conniption fit
Dr. Seward: Oh, give 'em an enema
Martin: ...An enema?
Dr. Seward: Yes. It'll give him a feeling of accomplishment

2. Dr. Seward: Oh, Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He is a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
Mel Brooks as Professor Van Helsing: And Gynecology
Dr. Seward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that too.


3. Steven Weber as Jonathan Harker: Are you saying that Count Dracula is our vampire?
Van Helsing: Yes...and no.
Harker: Then what are you saying?
Van Helsing: I'm saying no,...but I'm leeeaning towards yes.
Dr. Seward: Then you're saying yes.
Van Helsing: No.
Dr. Seward: Then it's no.
Van Helsing: Not necessarily.
Harker: You sound dubious.
Van Helsing: No, I'm positive.
Harker: Of what?
Van Helsing: My theory!
Harker: And that would be?
Van Helsing: The theory of yes...or no.



4. Lysette Anthony as Lucy: Jonathan, let me kiss you. Let me show you the deep, raw, passionate, unbridled, sexual frenzy.
Jonathan Harker: Eh-eh, but Lucy,... I'm British.



Check out arguably the most classic scene in the movie with Harvey Korman and Peter MacNicol (playing Renfield):

Get this guy mad and he'll seriously F**k up your feng shui T!

JD's quotes:

Known to fans as being one of the funniest episodes of The Sopranos, Pine Barrens, let's us see Paulie Walnuts and Christoper Moltisanti trying to survive in the wintry woods, attempting to conduct...um...waste management activities, so to speak. Wait, I don't have to say it that way...I mean they done tried to dump a body out there. As always, body dumping, a wonderful breeding ground for humor. We all know it.

Tony (played by James Gandolfini) to Paulie over the phone: The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando. He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed.

Paulie (played by Tony Sirico): Get the F**k outta here.

Tony: Yeah, nice, huh? He was with the interior ministry, guy's some kinda Russian Green Beret.

After they hang up:

Paulie to Christopher: You're not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator.

Christopher (played by Michael Imperioli): ...His house looked like sh!t.

...And you still have to ask why I love The Sopranos? Seriously?