Michael Scott has certainly got... that Frisbee kind of cool

JD's quotes:




NBC's The Office rarely fails to put a smile on my face. After having watched Steve Carell on Jon Stewart's The Daily Show and of course his hilarious turns in movies like Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, I started watching The Office. It took me a few episodes to really get into the show because it runs so differently than your average primetime comedy. Now, however, my favorite moron on a currently running series is Steve's character Michael Scott. Michael is the sentimental ole fool who has somehow earned himself the title of Regional Manager of the Scranton, PA branch of the Dunder Mifflin paper company. Michael wants to be liked, and in spite of his behavior, often is. He also is of the opinion that he is both cool and smart but rarely convinces anyone else of this theory. His idea of being witty is to wait for the right moment to add ''that's what she said'' to a conversation...if not the right time, then whenever he thinks of it. Here are some of Michael's recent scene-stealingly stupid moments:


1. ''I'm not superstitious but I'm-I am a little stitious.''

2. ''Hey, Frisbee. Check that out. What do you say we get our frizz on before class, huh?''

3. ''You cannot learn from books...Replace these pages with life lessons, and then, you will have a book...that is worth its weight in gold.''

4. ''It was a crime of passion Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.''

5. ''I'm very fast. I'm like Forrest Gump. Except, I am not an idiot.''

6. ''And, while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I am very, very proud of that.''

7. ''So, I don't think that this is totally just a woman's suit. At the very least, it's bisexual.''

8. ''Negotiations are all about controlling things, about being in the driver's seat. Annnd, you make one tiny mistake, you're dead. I made one tiny mistake. I wore a woman's clothes.''


9. ''Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive NEED to be liked. Like, my need to be praised.''

10. ''So, Ryan got promoted to corporate, where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in Scranton, I am still top dog...in a fairly large pond. So, who is the real boss?...The dog or a fish?''

11. Michael: So, I need a little treat for the gang, something to win their affection back.
B. J. Novak as Ryan Howard: Back? Why is that Michael?
Michael: Welll, I ran down Meredith in my car.
Ryan: Ughuhhh! Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent but she's in the hospital. She's fine, recovering nicely, tiny little crack in her pelvis but she will be up and-
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes it was on company property with company property. So, double jeopardy, we are fine.
Ryan: Mm-I don't-I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right. I'm sorry. What is ''we're fine''?

At the moment, I think getting one's frizz on has got to be my favorite phrase to be used on The Office to date. Can you blame me?

The negative impact of Irish culture...heheheh

Lucy's quote:

~Any excuse to put up a Jimmy Fallon picture, you know me.

Jimmy Fallon, the cutest man ever on SNL..not counting Chris Kattan but that's really not the same breed of cute...Anyway, here's Jimmy setting back Irish culture a hundred years by exposing their most unsavory element:

The ironically Irish Jimmy Fallon: Workmen in Dublin have dug up a mysterious stone and metal box archaeologists believe is a time capsule, buried 200 years ago. Though it has not been opened, many hope it contains Ireland's long lost ''Good Recipes''.


Oh, snap! Aww yeah, he said it! Take that Mrs. O'Lorcan for slamming my lemon chicken! That oughta take you Irish folks down a few notches after JD threw ya'll a bone with that God quote a few days back. I didn't want you getting a bigger head over it...

...

...That goes double for you Mrs. O'Lorcan...I'm watching you.

Lucy VS Mrs. O'Lorcan continues in this post months later:

http://hoeno.blogspot.com/2008/07/future-technological-culinary.html

Hillary succeeds where Bill supposedly failed...ha ha ha

JD's quote:


On HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher, Bill has an odd but entertaining conversation with country music legend Merle Haggard. During this meeting of the minds, Bill manages to quickly and cleverly segue from Haggard's supposed support of Hillary Clinton to Merle's reference to pot in his hit song Okie from Muskogee...then Merle brings that entertaining discussion back around to Hillary. The conversation made the twist when Bill mentioned Willie Nelson, as Nelson IS the premiere pot-smoking country music icon. Then, the following:

Bill: But I know Willie is a very good friend of yours, I mean certainly you must have been around marijuana.

Merle: Oh, I've been around it. In fact, uh, we met Hillary, she came in Willie's bus and, and uh, of course, uh,...uh, she took a big whiff...and I think she inhaled.


Check out this video where Hillary is HILARIOUSLY disingenuous (You know, as opposed to just being annoyingly disingenuous like normal):

Nice Boy Floyd? (Larry Merchant quotes about Floyd Mayweather, Junior)

JD's quotes:


VS



Okay...I warned you I'd likely do it again with my quoting Larry Merchant. As a matter of fact, I'd like Say what? to be known as the #1 and best Larry Merchant quotes site. So, people are always wondering about why Larry and Floyd Mayweather Jr. aka Pretty Boy Floyd are at odds so often. Well, here are two examples of statements that may've damaged their relationship:

1. While the fighters were still making their way to the ring just before the Oscar De La Hoya VS Floyd Mayweather Jr. match-up, Larry starts in on Floyd like he does (I had to listen to it several times to hear what he was saying over my own laughter):

''Why is Oscar De La Hoya a Box Office superstar, . . . while Floyd Mayweather is a boxing star? Because Oscar won a gold and Floyd won a bronze? Because Oscar was a handsome man and Floyd was a nice looking man? Because Oscar has a crowd-pleasing style and Floyd does not?''

2. Before this, after Floyd had defeated Carlos Baldomir to win the welterweight championship, Larry and Jim Lampley had this conversation:

Lampley: So, Larry, Floyd Mayweather wins the welterweight championship with a flawless display of self defense, then breaks into tears at the news conference saying that he's under appreciated and vows that he's only going to fight one more time. What's goin' on?

Merchant: I think he bored himself to tears Jim.

Believe me, the fact that Larry wasn't present during the Jones VS Trinidad fight infuriates me to no end. If only Larry were there to say something about Roy's Rooster dance moves, I'd have gotten another quote out of him for you. Don't let this happen again, petition HBO on behalf of Larry Merchant!...Please! For the sake of sports humor and all that is holy! Alright, I'll shut up.

A St. Patrick's Day quote in advance

JD's quotes:


Scotland born actor David O'Hara played the scene-stealing Irishman in the epic movie Braveheart, famous for Mel Gibson running around with his face painted blue and a gigantic sword for something like 18 and a half hours. It was pretty good. While sitting through Titanic that one time I sat through it, I wished several times that instead of water flooding the ship, Mel Gibson and David O'Hara would burst into the room and take care of Leonardo DiCaprio once and for all.


In between gigantic battle scenes, William Wallace, Mel's character and historical icon of Scotland, is trying to expand his army as he travel's through the land. Enter Stephen, an Irishman who fled from Ireland because he's ''wanted''. Stephen, David O'Hara's character, refers to Ireland as ''my island'', wants to kill Englishmen for Wallace and from the start looks to the sky and converses with the almighty. After being asked about this quirk, he answers with what must be the greatest Celtic quote of all time:

''In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.''

You've got to love Irish humility. Happy early St. Patty's Day, lads.

Check out Bob Newhart and old Bob Newhart show cronies spoofing Braveheart's popular William Wallace speech at the 1996 MTV Movie awards (Bob Newhart doing inspirational speeches...perfect):