Greg House, M.D. on sex during The Civil War

JD's quotes:

~ The original cast of Fox medical dramedy, House.

For those of you who aren't yet familiar with the medical drama, HOUSE, this would be a good time to get acquainted. Hugh Laurie of the praised British comedy, A bit of Fry and Laurie, plays Gregory House, M.D. - a sarcastic, pill-popping world famous diagnostician with a limp. He's also got a complete intolerance to boredom and actual contact with most people-especially patients. Although occasionally he gets arrested, punched, kicked, sued, peed on and shot, he rarely fails to grab an opportunity to be crude, rude and socially unacceptable. This, of course, makes him frequently quote-worthy.

Over the past 3+ seasons of House, Hugh Laurie/Doctor House has been spotted reading the following nuggets and many more just like them:


''Do you have hair on your special place?''


''There's something wrong in your pants.''


''ah, Don't believe 'em. I keep a sock in my pants.''


''Ladies and Gentlemen, I have nothing in my hands, nothing up my sleeve...I do have something in my pants- but it's not gonna help with this particular trick.''


''Give her a banana. Monkey see, monkey barf.''


''Many women learn to embrace this parasite...They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites.''

''The most successful marriages are based on lies...You're off to a great start.''


''What can I say? Chicks with no teeth turn me on.''


''I was rooting for a really cool tumor. Instead we're stuck with this crap.''


''Stop it! This argument is distracting every male and lesbian here.''


''You know, relative to its size, the barnacle has the largest penis of any animal.''

''You know, I happen to have a position available on my penis...wait a second- I think I screwed up that joke.''

''It's not what you think. I know it looks like we're cleaning dishes, but actually we're having sex.''


''This baby won me second place in the clinic's weekly ''weirdest thing pulled out of an orifice'' contest.''

''If your sex organs dangle, you're the Confederates. If your sex organs are aesthetically pleasing, you're the Yanks.''


Now, I personally believe the danglers should be the Yanks...trust me, it makes much more sense that way.


Like this post? If you're a stumbler, please give us a thumbs up.

Also, check out another post of quotes from House: http://hoeno.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-this-textbook-latin-language-is-also.html


Here's Hugh Laurie in some non-House fun, showing off his musical stylings on Inside The Actors Studio, Parkinson and A Bit of Fry and Laurie: