Saturday, August 11, 2007

Homemade tequila is not all it is cracked up to be

Lucy's quotes: My Name is Earl-Thursdays on NBC

Jason Lee as Earl Hickey:

''I tried to make tequila once but I didn't know what was in it besides worms. . . Pretty gross. . .still got me drunk though.''

Here's a clip of the pilot episode of My Name is Earl:

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Willie Nelson reflects on medicine, his military career and Texas training in autobiography ''Willie''

JD's quotes:

Willie Nelson in his Autobiography ''Willie'' [with Bud Shrake] touches on the main themes in his life...botany, inhospitable vacation spots and his financial contributions to the community... as well as of course love, music and farming.

Willie writes:

''Look at all the people whose lives were made better by the fact that I didn't care how fast I spent money.''

''I appreciate that the coca leaf grows in the ground, like a medicine.''

''The air force took my stripe away after one day.''

''The first thing a man in Texas was trained to do was to find the guy his wife was running around with and kill him.''

''I hobbled before the judge on crutches. The judge said, ''We're going to release you on the condition that you never come back to the Bahamas again.'' ''

Personally, I wouldn't go anywhere Willie Nelson wasn't invited.

Check out Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings in this charmingly corny music video for the song ''If I can find a clean shirt'':

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Harland Williams gets multicultural and a little dyslexic

Lucy's quotes:

From Harland Williams' often pleasantly nonsensical stand-up comedy acts(which sometimes result in distracting ethnic runs):

''He was outta there faster than a little Norwegian whale skinner at a Chinese roasted walrus festival.''

''Do ya think dyslexic kids think Fuddruckers is really called MotherF*ckers?''

Here's Harland's Hilarious turn on the improv show ''Thank God You're Here'':

Jimmy Fallon clears up a zoological misnomer

JD's quotes:

This quote is from SNL Weekend Update's former anchor Jimmy Fallon. He may never have been able to keep a straight face but he did care about accuracy when he read the news, doggone it!

jimmy fallon

''Actually, to be accurate, they only became flying squirrels after the explosion.''

PS: Lucy would like to add that she's the big SNL fan of the two of us, and that it was pure fluke that I'm the one posting this one. You snooze, you lose, Lucy.

Friday, August 3, 2007

The incredible edible egg and the greatest back-up dancers in a hip hop video

Lucy's quotes:

HBO's little known gem, Flight of the Conchords ran for one season this year and has been canceled. We will always have that one season of deadpan delight though and of course, their music. The show chronicles an attempt at fame by a contemporary New Zealand folk duo. . .folk/rock/reggae/rap. . .and I'm not sure what else. With them is their only fan, Mel [Comedian Kristen Schaal] and their manager Murray Hewitt aka Gingerballs [comedian Rhys Darby]. They come to America from New Zealand and they are ultimately outdone by a bossy bongo player. . . What more could you want in a TV series?

Bret McKenzie as Bret, who is sadly the ladies' man of the two:

''The eggs were really nice, like your lips...So....your lips look as delicious as the eggs...probably more delicious.''

. . .Man that guy is smooooooth.

Watch Bret's moves as he pulls the classic Flight of the Conchords move by slipping into a music video out of nowhere. The only time the shy, reserved and hilariously dull singers break out of their quiet shell is when they morph into their musical personas, often with their embarrassing rap names. Jermaine-played by Jermaine Clement shows up along with what must be the finest backup dancers in all of hip hop:

Werewolves ARE real

JD's quotes: NBC's The Office on Thursday nights


Rainn Wilson as excitably serious Dwight K. Shrute:

''I don't have a lot of experience with vampires but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.''

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Sarah Silverman explains how different perspectives can skew theories into unfortunate hypotheses

Lucy's quotes:

The Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central

Sarah Silverman playing the role of Sarah Silverman-Not to be confused with Sarah Silverman herself:

''I mean, if you lived in my toilet, you'd think I was always peeing, right?''

Indeed, the mark of a genius is to boil down complex issues into terms that we can all understand and I totally got her point.

Here's Sarah on Jimmy Kimmel Live, educating us on one of the most important issues she's ever talked about:

Did Pat Boone ever cover that song?

JD's quotes: Lightnin' Hopkins

You might be surprised what kind of lyrics managed to sneak into music back in the days before they could even fathom Elvis Presley and his lewd and lascivious pelvis, corrupting our nation's youth. Bluesmen routinely sang lyrics that their record companies were probably too square to pick up on. Tampa Red Whittaker wrote a song called ''Can I play with your poodle?'' that Pat Boone likely couldn't get away with but Lightnin' Hopkins recorded it, as did several others. Lightnin' sang among the other lyrics:

''Yes, two old maids that were layin' in the bed
While one turned over, this is what she said:
''Can I play with your poodle?'' ''

This was in the 1940's . . .Hilariously raunchy for the 'good old days', ey? Pat Boone's version probably would have gone something like:

Two pally gals sat over on the couch
One called the cat 'cause the other saw a mouse
That mouse's tail looks like a noodle

. . . Or, something similar. I don't know. I'm not a songwriter.

You can find this gem on the CD: The complete Aladdin recordings

See Lightnin' play 'Baby, please don't go', on this video:

The poetry of Mr. Show with Bob and David

Lucy's quotes:

From HBO's Mr. Show with Bob and David-Fourth season out now on DVD

Under appreciated funny lady Jill Talley on Mr. Show gets poetic while announcing the winners of the ''tear drop'' awards:

''Sad songs are nature's onions.''

Becky Thyre adds: ''Sorrow is the key that gets our tears out of eye-jail.''

Some may call Mr. Show one of the most offensive comedies of all time...I think it's just downright poetic.

By the way, Check out one of the funniest parodies we've ever seen. Mr. Show's parody of Goodfellas, it's as much a parody of edited-for-TV movies:

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Snow White's posse wants a discount

JD's quotes: HBO's Deadwood

Ian McShane as saloon owner/Pimpmeister Al Swearengen:

''You better have a paying dwarf underneath you.''

Deadwood - Paula Malcomson as Trixie

Also from Deadwood: Paula Malcomson as prostitute Trixie:

''I can't be sure; never seen a rich person high before.''

Welcome to Say what? with JD and Lucy! Tonight's special guest: Bubba

Welcome to JD and Lucy's potentially pathetic attempt at an entertaining blog. We don't know what we're doing yet but we hope we can pick up on it quick. We hope to have a blog highlighting quotes from TV, movies, stand-up acts, etc. that will make you laugh, smile or just give a slightly bemused quarter of a head nodding gesture of recognition. This is a salute to the intentional as well as the unintentional great and humorous lines. They may be some of your favorite lines already or might persuade you to track down the source and just enjoy the living crud out of it. So, in that sense, it's great free advertising for them...because as we all know, rich celebrities need free advertising; It's science.

...Isn't that right Bubba?

Bubba: Yes, yes it is.