Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Tao of Calamity (More quotes from Deadwood)

~Above is the woman behind the role of Calamity Jane on HBO's Deadwood. Cleans up nice, doesn't she?

JD and Lucy's quotes:

As promised, we have more Deadwood. Today, it's all Jane. What a character is that Calamity Jane on HBO's potently quote-worthy series Deadwood. The lovely Robin Weigert plays the less-than-lovely Jane with a hilarious flash anger that often results in the Deadwood buzzword ''C**ksucker''.

Jane carries a gun, likes her liquor, treats cursing like a language all its own and usually looks to be encrusted in dirt but it doesn't stop her from nursing the sick or protecting those in need of a protector. Below are some assorted and moderately censored (with asterisks) lines from this colorful character:

9 Encounters with Calamity:

Jane: Maybe I will have a f**kin' drink, just for sociability's sake and cause I'm a f**kin' drunk.
Kim Dickens as Joanie Stubbs: Well, what's your preference?
Jane: That it ain't been previously swallowed.


Brad Dourif as Doc Cochran: Well you ARE an EN-tangled inebriate are you not?
Jane: This happens to be a rig and contraption of my own devising against repeated accidental falls that has temporarily malfunctioned.

County Commissioner Jarry imprisoned at the local jail: I'm thirsty.
Jane: Lie on your back, take aim and piss.

''What the F**K you lookin' at?!!! . . . Like HE'S a f**kin' Adonis.''

Calamity Jane meets a long pause after telling an embarrassing story to Charlie Utter (Dayton Callie) and Sheriff Bullock (Timothy Olyphant):

''Fella in Livingston went sweet on me... Finnish Feller from Finland, hardly spoke f**kin' English. Brought me flowers and some dry food they like there and uh one night, he takes my arm and he starts in and he uh whispers in his-in his Finland accent ''I wanna suck your c**k.''. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .What d'ya f**kin' think a that?''


''Question I wake to in the morning and pass out with at night-'What's my popularity with my fellow white people?' ''

''I dreamed last night, I was clamorin' up a f**kin' creek bank...which is often required of a drunk.''

''Refined spirits'll sometimes convulse me.''

9. Jane on one of her frequent drunken rants:

''People are f**kin' people and that is f**ked up. You don't know what the f**k I'm talking about, cause you don't know people.''