Saturday, July 12, 2008

FSM (Fine Swedish Mechanics) Is Proud To Present...

JD's Quotes:

The classic Naked Gun movies always make me laugh. Like the first one, the sequel is so full of sight gags that sometimes it's tough to catch all of the hilarious dialogue happening. The second movie, entitled The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear is a thoroughly Zuckers and Abrahams romp. It stars Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, George Kennedy, Robert Goulet...and absolutely no one else that may or may not have gone completely batsh!t crazy afterwards (OJ Simpson-who we're pretending wasn't in the film)...Anyhow, among my favorite quotes includes:

1. Lieutenant Frank Drebin (Played by Leslie Nielsen): Like having sex. It's a painstaking, arduous task that seems to go on and on forever and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens.

2. Robert Goulet as villain Quentin Hapsburg reveals that he is dating Frank's recent ex, Jane Spencer -played by Priscilla Presley. Frank getting adversarial:

Well, that's great. I've been dating too. Nice girl. An author. She wrote the book on male sexual dysfunction. You've probably read it.

Quentin: I beg your pardon!

Jane: Frank, please.

Frank: Oh, it's alright, I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely. Just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. poopy pants?!

3. Colleen Fitzpatrick aka singer Vitamin C plays the Lounge singer in the background of a restaurant filled with down-on-their-luck joes, singing the following lyrics:

I'm feelin' blue/just thinkin' of you
I get out of bed/wish I was dead
And I hope you do too


Hector Savage, from Detroit. Hey, I remember this pug. Ex-boxer. His real name was Joey Chicago.

Ed Hocken (played by George Kennedy): Oh, yeah. He fought under the name of Kid Minneapolis.

Guy who wasn't in the movie: Hey, I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once. In Cincinnati.

Frank: No, you're thinking of Kid New York. He fought out of Philly.

Ed: He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado. You know, the Arizona Assassin?

That Guy: Yeah, from Dakota. I don't remember if it was North or South.

Frank: North. South Dakota was his brother, from West Virginia.

Ed: You sure know your boxing.

Frank: Well. All I know is never bet on the white guy.


That's the red light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging out down there.
Ed: Sex, Frank?
Frank: ...Uh, no, not right now, Ed. Uh, we got work to do.

6. Frank and Ed are questioning an employee in a sex shop played by Gina Mastrogiacomo when another employee played by Jeff Wright enters the front of the store:

And why should I tell you, copper?

Frank: Because I'm the last line of defense between sleaze like this and the decent people in this town.

Other Employee/Jeff walking in: Oh, hi Frank. Say, we got that model D-83 Swedish, sure-grip suck machine in that you ordered.

7. In the final battle between good and evil, the villain talks to the hero, keeping him at gunpoint:

That's as far as you go, Drebin. Any final requests, Lieutenant?
Frank: Yes. Can I have the gun?
Quentin: Oh, no. I'm not gonna fall for that one.

~Well,... it was almost diabolical.

Want to see quotes from the first Naked Gun movie? Go here: The Naked Gun: From the files of Police Squad!