Sunday, August 10, 2008

Female Society Thanks Adam Hunter For Bringing Attention To This Issue:

Female Society Thanks Adam Hunter For Bringing Attention To This Issue:

I tune in to NBC's Last Comic Standing here and there when I can take enough time off from feeding cats. There are some very talented comics who land a spot on this show. I've got three quotes for you from the last episode I caught. Here they are:

Lucy's quotes:

Hailing from Salt Lake City, Utah is a former vocalist in a rock band named Marcus and he can do impressions of Bobcat Goldthwait and Aaron Neville. Not a combination found in nature, I might add. Marcus is already planning to be a big star as he only goes by the one name. Bold move. Prince, Madonna, Marcus. It could work. He talks a lot about music in his act, including:

''I don't understand music today. The music I really don't understand is R & B. Because I grew up on old school R & B. The good stuff. Like Sexual Healing,... Let's Get It On. Those songs-I just said the titles of those songs and three people just got pregnant in this room. That's how good that is. That's how good it works.''

Jim Tavaré, the double bass playing English sketch comedy actor with a pleasantly dry sense of humor says:

''My grandfather always used to say to me 'Son, you don't get anywhere in life unless you open doors.' What happened to him? He fell out of an airplane.''

Adam Hunter is a former wrestler and wrestling coach as well as a comic. He describes how male maturity levels can interfere with a couple's sex life:

''The sex was getting kind of redundant for a while so we went to see a sex therapist. And, uh, he said we should use toys in bed. You know? So, so, she went out and got a vibrator and I got Guitar Hero.''

Recently, for the first time in history, we have full grown men who've grown up with video games and the repercussions reach all aspects of life. Sad, really. My advice is to date men without thumbs. See, you need a man who doesn't have an X-Box addiction and a man with no thumbs is just happy to have a good woman so it really works out for everyone. There. Problem solved. God, I rock at solving society's biggest and most challenging issues. Next, I'm going to tackle the national debt thingamajig. Or, I'll just order a pizza and read a magazine. . . I do need to pace myself.