Saturday, January 5, 2008

George Carlin jokes about cancer, canine expiration and Elmer Fudd getting the shaft again

JD's quotes:

George Carlin put on his usual intelligent, thought provoking and funny show when he did Doin' it again for HBO-one of many specials he's done for the network. Here are the quotes I can actually get away with quoting:

George Carlin quotes: HBO Special Doin' it again

One from George's list of life's embarrassing moments:

''You ever been talking to someone and you laugh through your nose and blow a snot on your shirt?''

George on public health:

''Cuz I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water.''

George on ''sensitive'' subjects:

''Well, I know, some people don't like you to talk about those things. I know that. Some people don't like you to mention certain things. Some people don't want you to say this,... some people don't want you to say that... Some people think if you mention some things, they might happen...Some people are REALLY F#*^ing stupid!''

While joking about just the kind of sensitive subjects that comedians aren't supposed to joke about, George proceeds to ask the audience to:

''Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.''

One from George's list of things you never see:

''You never see a really big, tall, fat, Chinese guy with red hair.''

George only agrees with some feminist vocabulary changes:

''They want me to call that thing in the street, a personhole cover. I think that's taking it a little bit too far. What would you call a ladies' man? A person's person? That would make a He-man an It-person. Little kids would be afraid of the boogeyperson. They'd look up in the sky and see the person in the moon. Guys would say ''Come back here and fight like a person'' and we'd all sing ''For it's a jolly good person''. That's the kind of thing you would hear on Late Night with David Letterperson! You know what I mean?''

Near the end of the show George begins his admirable rant about New Wave, sugarcoated language. Among his gripes are the changes from ''partly cloudy'' to ''partly sunny'' but one, he points out, will actually make him invincible:

''Because thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won't have to die...I'll
pass away...''

Check out one of George's Wordsmith exhibitions on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

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