Friday, December 7, 2007

Waylon Jennings: The story of Hoss and his turkeys

JD's quotes:

'Waylon' by Waylon Jennings with Lenny Kaye is a very frank and often humble look back on the life and times of one of Country music's hardcore elite. Most of the fun in books like these is the name-dropping. Waylon has been friends with everyone from Buddy Holly to Big Bird. Even the smallest stories in Waylon's book are bringing you true 'insider' information. From Ernest Tubb to Elvis Presley, you get a rather candid look at the people through Waylon's eyes. As the more comical bits lend themselves to the Say what? blog, here they are as follows:

Waylon's picture of how smoothly he broke into a life in music:

''I was expelled from music class in high school for ''lack of musical ability.'' If they wanted a B flat, they'd just hand me a B and I'd flatten it.''

Waylon talks about one of his earliest gigs in show business-his life as a radio personality, complete with local grocer's ADS:

''One time I said, ''Come on down to George's Fruit and Vegetables. You can't beat George's meat.'' The phones lit up pretty bright after that one...''

Waylon reflects on times when he lacked clearheadedness:

''Another time I dropped some cigarette ashes down the pocket of my new deerskin jacket. I'm on fire! It flared up and burnt the sleeves right from my body. I kept patting at the flames, sitting there, too high to think of taking it off.''

''I got so drunk, I stumbled outside and passed out. They left me there and put a pillow under my head, right in the middle of nowhere. When I woke up it was getting dark. I opened my eyes, unsticking them one at a time, and looked right into the snout of a black and white spotted hog that had come up and was snorting at my face...''

Waylon getting into stories about his musical predecessors and peers:

One of numerous mentions involving the infamous Faron Young involving Faron's friendship with Hank Williams Sr.

''He took a loaded gun and pointed it to Faron's temple, cocked it, and said, ''Boy, I love that woman. Now you can either giver her to me or I'm going to kill you.''

Faron sat there and thought it over for a minute. ''Wouldn't that be great? To be killed by Hank Williams!'' He wound up driving Hank and Billie Jean around in Hank's Cadillac, with the two of them loving it up in the back seat.''

Waylon touches on the special relationship Elvis Presley had with the people around him:

''They talk about him giving away Cadillacs, but I imagine a Cadillac would be earned after a few months with him.''

''...and Colonel Tom Parker didn't help. I think a monkey could've managed Elvis, and maybe done a better job.''

Waylon kicks back with icon Hank Locklin:

''Hank Locklin was the older, more established artist headlining. Hank was sitting right beside me and across from Lynne, talking about that beautiful red-headed woman over there. ''Look at her,'' he kept saying. ''She is so goddamn fine. I wonder who that is.''

I allowed him to go on for a while, but finally I had to let him in on the secret. ''Well, she's my wife.''

Hank didn't bat an eye. ''She reminds me so much of my daughter,'' he said, real quick.''

Finally, of course, Waylon's assorted mentions of Willie Nelson:

''People there think when they die they're going to Willie's house.''

''I was upset. ''Somebody find that red-headed bastard and get him here,'' I said.''

''F*** you, Jack,'' retorted Willie, and then came back to me chuckling, and said, ''I've always wanted to say f*** you to somebody whose real name is Jack.''

''He's my personal Willie, and I'm his Waylon. Yin and yang. Where there's a Will, there's a Way.''

The ''Jack'' in question is of Cowboy Jack Clement who mentioned to Willie that he had to sing ''on the beat''. Willie did not agree... and still doesn't.

Old Hoss himself in good humor took time to play a turkey farmer in the Sesame Street movie ''Follow That Bird'' and here he is with the tune ''Ain't no road too long'''s kind of a duet...