Friday, February 8, 2008

Bob Saget plays a 13-year-old boy with Tourette syndrome having a nervous breakdown...I smell an Oscar

JD's quotes:
In Bob Saget's HBO comedy special That ain't right Bob rambles for nearly an hour about John Stamos, leprechauns, a poor kid in the audience named Jared and his potential romance with Kimmy Gibbler. He does this only after entering to Jamie Kennedy and Stu Stone's rap song Rollin' with Saget...which is a great song if you've never heard it. When not rambling, he's singing. I cannot for the life of me, after having sat through this show twice, arrive at a decision as to whether he is not-that-funny or actually brilliant...and perhaps therein lies his genius. I may end up watching it a third time just to figure it out. I may never figure it out! When Bob starts singing, he goes into his own song, set to the melody of the Backstreet Boys number I want it that way, another song that gets close to bestiality but not quite? and one he introduces as ''An old English folk song'' that I thought was perfectly quote-worthy. Here are the entire song's lyrics as sung by Saget:

''There was an old farmer who sat on a rock

Stroking his whiskers and shaking his fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks

Teaching their children to play with their kite-strings and marbles in the old days of yore

Along came a lady who looked like a decent young lady and walked like a duck

Said she'd discovered a new way to bring up the children to sew and to knit

The boys in the stables were shoveling up contents of stables left after the hunt

The carman was feeling a nice piece of straw from the stables cleaning the walls

In came the dairymaid to play with his dog in the dairy where she did belong

If you think this is dirty well, you're F**kin' well wrong''

Saget fully admits that he didn't write this song but I'm glad he covered it. I like his version but there are many, many different versions. The one I learned and sing when I'm in the shower or drunk goes like this:

Thhhhhhhhhere was an old farmer who sat on his rick

Ranting and raving and waving his arms to the people who sat on the walls

Teaching their children to play with their kite-strings and bowstrings like in the old days of yore

When along came a lady who liked like a decent young lady who walked like a duck

Said she'd invented a new way to educate children to sew and to knit

While the servants in the barnyard were shoveling refuse from the barnyard from the back to the front

As the young maids in the tavern plucked hairs from their aprons and blouses just for their health

And if you want different lyrics, you can sing them yourselllllllf!!!

Hey, I like both ways but I'll still sing my version because I think the hair plucking part is the best. ...You tell me which one is better. Also, if you have a good site with any version of this song that you'd like to share or on its history, please comment and put it up. I love it, I'm pretty sure it's a public domain song. Also, though I might be wrong, I think it's called ''A clean English folk song.'' Anybody know?