Foster Brooks did NOT play an alcoholic!

JD's quotes:

Famous for his appearances opening for Perry Como and on the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts and the Dean Martin Show, Foster Brooks played himself up as a good old-fashioned drunk. A drunk mind you, not an alcoholic... He didn't have to go to those pesky meetings if ya catch my drift- wink wink, nudge nudge. Here are a few of Foster's quotes [with stutters included but minus some of the other noises that I don't know how to type out]:


''In all fair-In all fairness to myself, I think I must say that I have a very good re-reason for bein' loaded tonight...I've b-I've been drinking all day!''

''I was in the service...Um...Oh and I might say that I was in the tough-toughest outfit of them all... I was in the Naval-Naval Air Force... Ever try forcin' air through a navel?''

''My-my late father-in-law was-was a Polish sea captain...when he passed away like they do sometimes, you know...his last request was that he be bur-buried at sea...two of my brothers-in-law drowned diggin' his grave.''



Check out Foster cracking Dean Martin up:

Doctor Larry Merchant

JD's quotes:

Larry Merchant must have gone through med school to have his kind of anatomical knowledge. He shows off his expertise in the Fernando Vargas VS Oscar De La Hoya fight shortly after Vargas is knocked out with the following quote:



''Fernando Vargas may have had a six-pack in his stomach. He did not have a six-pack in his chin.''

The fact that I understood perfectly what Larry meant caused me to immediately see a neurologist. Apparently, I'm fine. This leads me to wonder if Larry might not be better off than I could've ever assumed.



Ricky Hatton works briefly as Larry Merchant's stylist: