Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sir Bill Maher

JD's quotes:

From Real Time With Bill Maher:

When watching Bill Maher interviewing the former head of the CIA's Bin Laden Unit, Michael Sheuer, you may notice that Sheuer has an affinity for a certain word whether he means it respectfully or in a mock civility. In an interview roughly seven minutes long, here is every usage of that certain word. . . Count them with me if you can guess which one it is.

1. Fine sir, thank you, good evening.

2. I appreciated the comment, sir.

3. What I've said sir is- (Interrupted)

4. If he was a terrorist, sir he would be a lethal nuisance to the United States.

5. He's not running for an election, SIR.

6. As an inspirerer he's very important, SIR.

7. I have no idea really, SIR but I don't think it's all that important.

8. I think we can reduce it very seriously, SIR.

9. Not only Israel, SIR but Saudi Arabia or Kuwait or Bolivia.

10. What I'm telling you, SIR is I'm most interested in the survival of the United States.

11. So what, SIR?

12. We'll get by just fine, SIR.

13. What I'm saying, SIR is we should've revisited the situation after 1973...

14. Yes, SIR.

15. Yes, SIR. I said that exactly.

16. Absolutely, SIR.

17. That's part of it, *SIR*.

18. I think we've-we've frittered away our independence on oil, *SIR*.

19. Thank YOU, *SIR*.

Can you guess which word he uses a lot more than your average bear? Come on. . . Guess. . . Seven minutes of discussion and he uses the word SIR 19 times! Is this some kind of a record? Seriously?

I can only imagine: Dane Cook leaves quote up to the imagination

Lucy's quotes:

Dane Cook on his HBO comedy special, Vicious Circle:

''Guys, we will go to our friend's HOUSE. We will wake people to tell this story, right? (Knocking sounds) Jason! (Knocking) Jason, dude, I'm sorry to wake you up. I'm sorry to wake you, bro. Do you remember that chick that I left with earlier tonight? Hoohhhhhh. . .C'Mere. . .Smell my EYES. . .Just smell my eyes, I'll tell you what happened.''

What?!!! What, damn it!???!!!??!!! What the crunk happened with that girl?!!! Sorry, I just really want to know. What could she have done with Dane? How could she have left a noticeable odor on his eyes, people? How? Why? It's killing me! What kind of kinky sex act could've been performed on this man? I need to go do some research now. Later.

Check out a VERY young Dane Cook: