Saturday, May 3, 2008

The Penile Quote

JD's quotes:

Before: banana lol
After!: banana

Well, it's time for another post on things real doctors have actually said. Dr. Robert H. Stubbs was interviewed by journalist Amy Brown-Bowers of the National Post on Dr. Stubbs shows his sense of humor about specializing in-and I'm serious when I say this-genital cosmetic surgery...Particularly,...the dorkus. Yep, he is the man to see for dorkus enlargement. Dr. Stubbs is quoted in the following parts of the interview:

Dr. Stubbs on going to China to study with another doctor about the fine art of penile enhancement:

''I didn't want to be the penis enlargement guy. The fact that my surname was Stubbs and I'd been to China to see Dr. Long do his thing....''

Dr. Stubbs on why he is one of few specialists in the dorkus enhancement arena:

''Penises are attached to men and men can be violent if they don't get their wildest dreams fulfilled.''

Dr. Stubbs on one of his most unlikely clients:

''It was small but you know again, what does a priest do with his penis?''
~ Rarely anything positive, Doc...rarely anything positive.

Dr. Stubbs on the beauty of anatomical economics:

''Oh I've had guys on welfare and my question to them is, "Why do you want to spend this money when maybe you should be going to community college, getting a skill, earning a living?" And they said, "Well, when it comes to my penis I've got money." So obviously people save for different things.''

Dr. Stubbs on male psychology:

''They want to be the biggest in the world. No big size is too big. If I could make their penis touch the ground they'd want me to make it drag on the ground.'' (He can't, by the way. I checked. It must be all the money that goes into cancer research and other non-penile related medicine. When will science just focus on what matters, right?)

''We're operating on them with their eyes open [and] they're hearing everything. We're all trained not to say "Whoops!" if something drops. Or, "Quick put it back on before they notice." And, you know, we all sort of enjoy it and the patients become part of the Monty Python extravaganza.''

I think most people, whenever contemplating elective surgery, they just hope to get a Monty Python scenario in the OR.

Read the full article here: Long teaches Stubbs to do penis enlargement -- no joke

JD, you may say, this really, really for real? Of course, it is. Don't you think I checked on this? See the very real Dr. Robert Stubbs here for proof: Dr. Robert H. Stubbs - Cosmetic Plastic Surgeon Still not sure? There are ''before'' and ''after'' galleries on this site...I swear...Really. They've traumatized me for life but yes, they're real pictures. Hey, do you think this is the Dr. Robert The Beatles sang about? Nah!

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