Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The hippies were right, you CAN make anything out of hemp! (Quotes from Hot Shots!)

JD's quotes:

The two Hot Shots! films were basically parodies brimming with sight gags. The first Hot Shots! movie was mostly a parody of Top Gun, while the second parodied the Rambo films, explaining why it's as muscular as Charlie Sheen has ever had to be for a role. I just saw a list of celebrities that had been suspected in steroid use and Sheen made the list just for this movie. Carrot Top managed to also make that list, so it's a pretty scary list. Anyway, Part Deux, a Jim Abrahams film through and through had so many sight gags, it may have been hard to fully appreciate the dialogue, which was every bit as goofy. In this movie, Topper Harley, Charlie's character, is reunited with his long lost love from the first film-Ramada, played by Valeria Golino. Part Deux parodies so many things, if you're most people, you'll miss several bits. Richard Crenna's playing a parody of himself in the Rambo movies is great but they even had Lloyd Bridges parodying himself from his old show Sea Hunt!

How many people got that? Here are some quotes from HSPD...that's right...I abbreviated it as if only the cool kids would know what I meant...or as if it saved a significant amount of typing time...which it doesn't. ...So here are the quotes:

1. Topper to Ramada: Sorry sweetheart, but this all-day sucker is down to the soggy white stick.

2. Ramada: He opened my eyes to the arts, music, clog dancing, WrestleMania.

3. Harley to Harbinger (played by Miguel Ferrer): Hey, look. I'm not saying I don't trust you and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.

4. Colonel Walters (played by Richard Crenna): And that Dim Sum fighting in the warehouse, yesterday?

Topper: Oh, I just do that for the extra money, and to satisfy my male cravings to kill and win.

5. My favorite character, the hilariously aloof President Tug Benson (played by Lloyd Bridges):

Damn tongue's gone dry on me. It's not mine, you know. No, I lost mine in Laos, little commie kid lopped it right off, probably a doorstop somewhere for all I know. Got this one from a basset hound.

6. President Benson to Saddam Hussein (played by Jerry Haleva): We'll settle this the old Navy way. First guy to die, loses!

7. President Benson explaining why he doesn't feel well:

My intestines were removed during action in the North Atlantic. Took a torpedo in the lower abdomen and they replaced every foot of my bowel with hemp-Clogs easily.

See quotes from the Hot Shots! sequel, here: