Saturday, December 29, 2007

Performing Tonight: Steven Wright & The Monotones (certifiably trippy quotes)

Lucy's quotes:

Steven Wright delivers completely deadpan humor no matter what he does. Usually, at least every other line is a punchline, making his act non-stop laughs...if you like that sort of thing. We love him. Here's a taste of his unusual brand of delivery:

''I have a three year-old dog, I named him 'Stay'. He was a lot of fun when he was a puppy because when I'd call him I'd say ''C'mere Stay, C'mere Stay.''

''One time the police stopped me for speeding and they said ''Oh, you know the speed limit is 55 miles an hour. I said 'Yeah, I know, but I wasn't gonna be out that long...''

''And I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day, cause that means it's gonna be up all night.''

''It's the story of a photographer who goes completely insane trying to take a close-up photograph of the horizon.''

''I got food poisoning today...I don't know when I'm gonna use it...''

''I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall...just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over, I say ' Go ahead, touch it, it feels like it's real.' ''

''It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.''

''I spilled spot remover on my dog, now he's gone.''

For those who think they might have trouble following Steven, don't worry...he goes slowwwly.

Stephen Wright in his act ''When The Leaves Blow Away'':

1 comment:

I'M SPOCK!!! said...

Cuzee's Jeeeesus! LOLOLMAO