In case you wonder, Al did NOT get God (Quotes from Deadwood)

JD's quotes:

This is potentially our final installment of Deadwood quotes, considering that they aren't likely to come back. Calamity will be missing because we just did a whole post of her lines. Enjoy these other assorted quotes from Deadwood:

1. Al Swearengen (Ian McShane) to Sheriff Bullock (Timothy Olyphant) while attempting to urinate before they beat the tar out of each other:

''Age impedes my stream, no f**kin' fear of you.''

2. Al to Mister Wu (Keone Young):

''You can't cut the throat of every c**ksucker whose character it would improve.''

3. Al to Silas Adams (Titus Welliver):

''Get a f**king haircut...look like your mother f**ked a monkey.''

4. Al to Doc Cochran (Brad Dourif):

''Announcing your plans, is a good way to hear God laugh.''

5. Al to one of many ''hoopleheads'' he's intimidated:

''Nervousness don't cause that-Lyin' causes cat piss smell.''

6. Charlie Utter (Dayton Callie) with a strong touch of oxymoronitude:

''Don't ever say I'm not a f**kin' gentleman''

7. E.B. Farnum (William Sanderson):

''I begrudge that pervert his capacity for happiness.''

8. E.B.:

''That I have not wiped his expectoration from my cheek is understandable. I'm threatened with death if I do.''

9. Dan Dority (W. Earl Brown):
''Yeah and when I feel a sh*t comin' on, I'll remember to drop my pants.''

10.

Al: Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head, rob 'em and throw their bodies in the creek.
Cy Tolliver (Powers Boothe): But that would be wrong.

11. Sol Star (John Hawkes) to Sheriff Seth Bullock: YES Seth, we're done talking about this. If you keep it up, we're going to fight and you'll have to work by yourself while I convalesce.

12. Hyper-civilized A.W. Merrick (Jeffrey Jones): And is that the vandalism's purpose sir? And of the dog defecating in my office? With ruffians dispatched by you as the lesson's author?
Tolliver: I doubt they had a dog with 'em.

13. Johnny Burns (Sean Bridgers) to Mister Wu:

''Why don't you learn to talk AMERICAN?!!!''

14. Johnny: Them people worship a fat man seated on his ass

15. Al's voice screaming from his room upstairs: Jesus Christ!!!
Johnny: Either Al got God or Dolly just stuck her thumb back up his ass

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Deadwood: Ruffians, Hoopleheads, Celestials and C**ksuckers. They will be missed.