A salute to the great intentional and unintentional lines of real life and great fiction. A blend of the funniest and most accurate quotes on the web, old, new and in between. Quotes from TV, Movies, Stand-up acts, books, etc. See if a line that stuck in your head shows up. Please leave comments and tell us what you like and what you want to see. Thanks for stopping by.
Sincerely,
JD & Lucy
Thursday, January 24, 2008
A St. Patrick's Day quote in advance
JD's quotes:
Scotland born actor David O'Hara played the scene-stealing Irishman in the epic movie Braveheart, famous for Mel Gibson running around with his face painted blue and a gigantic sword for something like 18 and a half hours. It was pretty good. While sitting through Titanic that one time I sat through it, I wished several times that instead of water flooding the ship, Mel Gibson and David O'Hara would burst into the room and take care of Leonardo DiCaprio once and for all. In between gigantic battle scenes, William Wallace, Mel's character and historical icon of Scotland, is trying to expand his army as he travel's through the land. Enter Stephen, an Irishman who fled from Ireland because he's ''wanted''. Stephen, David O'Hara's character, refers to Ireland as ''my island'', wants to kill Englishmen for Wallace and from the start looks to the sky and converses with the almighty. After being asked about this quirk, he answers with what must be the greatest Celtic quote of all time:
''In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.''
You've got to love Irish humility. Happy early St. Patty's Day, lads.
Check out Bob Newhart and old Bob Newhart show cronies spoofing Braveheart's popular William Wallace speech at the 1996 MTV Movie awards (Bob Newhart doing inspirational speeches...perfect):
JD was born on ruby Tuesday shortly after the great bifurcated rivet shortage of Denmark. It was nearly 19 years afterwards that he stumbled upon the idea of lukewarm fusion when staring really closely into the microwave during the great chocolate pop tart with peanut butter disaster of Northern America. Bla, bla, bla, then he realized elephants weren't meant for that kind of work, yadda, yadda, yadda and was unceremoniously kicked out of the Navel Orange Force and moved to the country where he now counts toothpicks, runs a blogger recovery support group and occasionally suffers from a painful weenis inflammation for which there is no known cure (other than gin and orange juice with some crushed ice and lots of love).
Lucy's brief biography:
Lucy was born in the mid to late or beginning part of a decade when the solstice was just shy of extemporaneous. Once she realized that she was not to be the next Lita Ford, she figured she would raise cats for no monetary reimbursement and blog about stuff. Somewhere in between she negotiated the Kittimer Accords and found a linty lozenge on MLK BLVD, therefore inspiring her to invent a fuel system for an automobile that worked only on water and eucalyptus oil. Anyway, she now dyes her hair Cayenne Red from the oo-that-burns-so-good dye manufacturer and spends much of her time petitioning to get Welcome Back, Kotter on the air again from her log cabin home in Inglesby, Minnesota.
Special Note on beliefs of the authors: BOTH blog authors firmly believe that the love you take is only equal to the love you make under the condition of Dingham's law when the transitive thermodynamic appendix of subatomic maturation will not exceed or succeed the rate of any kind of demolecularized convex or pyrexed dithyroxin monoparliamentary anti-romanticide solution of no greater than 3% by volume. So, although we're cool with the philosophical notion set forth by the lyric, we can under no uncertain terms purport that this circumstance circumvents or circumnavigates any potential scenario. So, in other words, if a nonlinear dispersible wave is non-invasive or perpetually inept as a magnitude of its own groovitational pull (see; groove theory of relativity by Korean doctor Thyn Wyte Dook), then it is truly polarized in a fashion of dynamic tubular Carbuncle Units Apt Sans statistical analyses of said unified physics or ''sunshine units''. Therefore, you can't really make that much love and you're left with some kind of an asymptomatic doodad for your undercover thunder-rolling if you catch our drift. Ask Stephen Hawking. He knows. He talked it over with Paul McCartney on that last PBS science special.
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