~ The man, Robert Duvall, in Western drama Open Range.Robert Duvall has always been a favorite of mine and I always watch The Great Santini when it comes on. Duvall plays Marine fighter pilot Bull Meechum, a heavy drinking disciplinarian with a cocky attitude which continues to be detrimental to his career and home life. Meechum is also known as the Great Santini. Meechum's prankster behavior takes a turn for the awkward when he thinks he's going to spring a surprise attack on his old friend, Colonel Virgil Hedgepath (played by Paul Mantee). He thinks he's tracked him down in the restroom as he sits looking at the feet of a man in the adjacent stall. He pulls the man's legs out from under him, pulling him into his own stall, picking him up and dropping his head into the toilet bowl while yelling and laughing. Realizing that, in fact, he has attacked a stranger, he lets the man up and covers for himself with the following conversation:
Robert Duvall as Bull Meechum: You're probably wondering why I attacked you, right?
Bennett Liss as poor, wet-headed Corporal Atchley: Yes, sir.
Meechum: What's your name, Corporal?
Atchley: Atchley, sir.
Meechum: Atchley, do you realize that several Marines were killed by the Japanese at Pearl Harbor while taking craps?
Atchley: No, sir.
Meechum: A fighting man must be vigilant to surprise attack no matter where he is. The survival of our nation depends on the readiness of Marines all over the world. Also, and more important, you only wiped yourself twice. Grossly insufficient. Right now, germs with names you can't even pronounce are preparing to launch a devastating attack that will render you helpless in the defense of your country. Do you read me?!
Atchley: Yes, sir.
Meechum: Good. Now, I'm Jones. Colonel John J. Jones. I'm only here for the day. I fly around the country testing the readiness of troops for combat. This is a strictly confidential test, classified top secret. Tell no one, Atchley. And if you ever attack a senior officer again, I'll have you court-martialed.
Atchley: But, you attacked me, sir.
Meechum: Dismissed!
So, the lesson for today is: When you attack a perfect stranger in the men's restroom by accident, you should definitely lie your ass off about why. Thank's, Mr. Duvall, for the demonstration, sir.
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