What To Do When Your Child Wants To Know The Facts Of Life:

Lucy's quotes:

~ Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen star in Knocked Up.


Knocked Up stars Katherine Heigl (Grey's Anatomy) as Allison Scott and Seth Rogen (The 40-Year-Old Virgin) as Ben Stone and is another reproductive romp-the category I find myself oddly obsessed with. Though the plot is about Allison and Ben's unplanned parenthood, one of my favorite scenes in the movie took the focus from the stars and gave it to Heigl's onscreen sister and niece. After Ben blurts out that he and Allison are going to have a baby to Allison's little niece at the breakfast table, the niece wants to get an education and her mother handles it like a pro.


Sadie (played by Maude Apatow): Where do babies come from?
Debbie (played by Leslie Mann-Apatow's real-life mother too): Where do you think they come from?
Sadie enthusiastically illustrating the procedure: Well, I think a stork, he um-he drops it down and then-and then a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere coming out of your head. And then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find a little baby.
Debbie: That's exactly right.


Playing Sadie's dad, Paul Rudd's facial expressions during this conversation cracked me up. He made me laugh throughout the movie. Gold star for Paul.



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Warning: ''Quantum Feminology & Complex Hyper Follicle Stimulation'' Was Not A Peer-Reviewed Study

Lucy's quotes:


~ Alan Alda, best known for starring on hit dramedy M*A*S*H.



~ Albert Einstein, mostly famous for knowing physicist Erwin Schrödinger. The girls just went crazy for his rock and roll hair.





Although it seems like I've been placed on permanent Conan duty, I'm happy to post another one from Late Night With Conan O'Brien. Alan Alda stopped by to promote a play he wrote called Dear Albert, based off of Albert Einstein's real life letters to those closest to him. Mr. Alda is a great admirer of Einstein for his achievements in Quantum Feminology among other things. Alda speaks of Einstein's obvious sexuality by saying:



''I've thought about, um, writing a book called ''Einstein's favorite pickup lines.'' ''

Alda was inclined to further explain:

'' I mean, the man was a genius, you know? He-he slept with dozens of women just by saying ''You know, space is curved.'' ''



Let's face it, that space being curved line is tired these days but back then, it was probably quite suave. Sort of like ''Your pants are so shiny...'', etc.

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What is the proper etiquette for a public restroom?

JD's quotes:


~ The man, Robert Duvall, in Western drama Open Range.

Robert Duvall has always been a favorite of mine and I always watch The Great Santini when it comes on. Duvall plays Marine fighter pilot Bull Meechum, a heavy drinking disciplinarian with a cocky attitude which continues to be detrimental to his career and home life. Meechum is also known as the Great Santini. Meechum's prankster behavior takes a turn for the awkward when he thinks he's going to spring a surprise attack on his old friend, Colonel Virgil Hedgepath (played by Paul Mantee). He thinks he's tracked him down in the restroom as he sits looking at the feet of a man in the adjacent stall. He pulls the man's legs out from under him, pulling him into his own stall, picking him up and dropping his head into the toilet bowl while yelling and laughing. Realizing that, in fact, he has attacked a stranger, he lets the man up and covers for himself with the following conversation:

Robert Duvall as Bull Meechum: You're probably wondering why I attacked you, right?

Bennett Liss as poor, wet-headed Corporal Atchley: Yes, sir.

Meechum: What's your name, Corporal?

Atchley: Atchley, sir.

Meechum: Atchley, do you realize that several Marines were killed by the Japanese at Pearl Harbor while taking craps?

Atchley: No, sir.

Meechum: A fighting man must be vigilant to surprise attack no matter where he is. The survival of our nation depends on the readiness of Marines all over the world. Also, and more important, you only wiped yourself twice. Grossly insufficient. Right now, germs with names you can't even pronounce are preparing to launch a devastating attack that will render you helpless in the defense of your country. Do you read me?!

Atchley: Yes, sir.

Meechum: Good. Now, I'm Jones. Colonel John J. Jones. I'm only here for the day. I fly around the country testing the readiness of troops for combat. This is a strictly confidential test, classified top secret. Tell no one, Atchley. And if you ever attack a senior officer again, I'll have you court-martialed.

Atchley: But, you attacked me, sir.

Meechum: Dismissed!

So, the lesson for today is: When you attack a perfect stranger in the men's restroom by accident, you should definitely lie your ass off about why. Thank's, Mr. Duvall, for the demonstration, sir.



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Say what?

Lucy's quote:


~ Katt Williams



On Late Night With Conan O'Brien, Katt Williams let go an off-the-cuff remark so perfect and so not right that it was wrong and right all at the same time. Okay, I can't describe it so I'll just tell you what it was.

Katt Williams reflects on his romantic history in relation to his height:

''I think short guys make better lovers, just 'cause once we get on, we don't want to get off.''

Hmm...we'll all have to think about that one for a while. Most likely, we won't be able to not think about it.



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It Could Almost Be Real News From Georgia

Lucy's quote:

~ Jimmy Fallon getting authoritative on SNL's Weekend Update.




Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update has been featured on many posts at Say what? and as you all know, I plan to do many more in the future. It's my thing. Also, I'm somewhat obsessed with Jimmy Fallon, another one of my things. I love Jimmy Fallon so much I sat through Taxi all the way to the credits. Yeah, I know, that's dedication. If I weren't so lazy I'd go into full stalker mode too. Oh yeah, I would. Anyway, here's another great quote from SNL's most adorable anchor ever.



Jimmy Fallon as Weekend Update anchorman Jimmy Fallon:



''This week, Georgia's board of education approved the plan that allows teachers to keep using the word ''evolution'' when teaching biology. Though, as a comprise, dinosaurs are now called ''Jesus horses''.''



As my title implied, if I heard this on a real news broadcast...I doubt it would surprise me much. I can almost see president Bush now, addressing that issue at a speech squinting up at a podium all smug-like going ''Hey, heh, why not call 'em Jesus horses? I mean, that's what they were, right? Science can't disprove it so it's obviously a valid theory, heh.''... He means well. That's the important thing.

PS: Great, big, ecstatic praise and congratulations to Jimmy Fallon on the official or unofficial plans to take over for Conan O'Brien on Late Night when Conan takes over for Jay Leno on The Tonight Show. My sources going through Jimmy's garbage cans for me say it's true, so, you know.

Today's post is brought to you by:

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It's an all-natural weight loss supplement. Try Slender fx for 90 days, it may be the help you've been looking for without the dangerous side effects that are typical of ''diet pills''. Find it and other premium health care products here- Your Home Based Business Opportunity With Youngevity